Pearls of wisdom from a crown prince

By Michael Field

Tupuoto’a lashes out at Tongan “squatter mentality”

Tongans are thieving people who let their pigs crap everywhere, are given to public drunkenness and have no pride. That is official, that is the word from His Royal Highness Prince Royal Tupuoto’a of Tonga.

His remarkable contempt for his subjects - and hapless Singaporeans who got in the way - came out in an email to the Matangi Tonga magazine in Nuku’alofa.

“The only thing that Tongans have in common with Singaporeans in an inherent squatter mentality,” he said.

“Singapore has become a Nanny State by necessity, because if left to their own devices they would urinate in the elevators.

Left to their own devices, Tongans would do the same.”

After all they let their pigs do it everywhere, he said. Matangi Tonga probed for a definition of squatter mentality and Tupuoto’a gave both barrels.

“Lack of consideration for the group. An insistence on exercising one’s ‘rights’ even to the most ridiculous degree regardless of the overall harm it does to the rest of society.

“Examples are: - vandalism; - lack of respect for other people’s property (buildings, cars, anything left in the open); - absence of pride when it comes to begging in the street; - public drunkenness; - Tongan borrowing (theft in other societies) from one’s relatives and friends; - litter; - squatting (viz. Tukutonga rubbish

dump).

“All of the above are found in abundance in Tongan society where extraordinary troubles are taken to attend long boring church services to the exclusion, by law, of every other activity on Sunday.”

These are no random meandering of a retired cabinet minister. As the collection of quotes below illustrates, the Crown Prince has a long tradition of blunt speaking: - “It does not matter how good or bad the economy is, we still have many more churches than schools.” - On being a 52-year-old bachelor and not getting married now: “I mean, it would be pretty ridiculous for a 60-year-old man to take his kids to kindergarten, you know, people will forever be asking the poor kid, is this your grandfather?” - “There are two drinks the world, kava, and a Russian drink called Kvass, which is made in the monastery out of fermented black bread, and it looks like kava and I would say that these two drinks are the only two in the world which taste as disgusting as they look.”

- “If you are 45 and not married you get accused of one of two things: you are either a playboy or you’re gay and I’m neither. I think I work rather hard.” - “I think there is nothing more ridiculous

than an impoverished democracy.”

- “Those people’s representatives who run around saying unkind words against the king, there is no Chinese among them. I know who they are and the nobility in the house know who they are and one day they will be dealt with, they will get what they deserve,” the

prince said.

- “I always thought that one might be criticised for going too slowly. I was taken aback by criticism that I was moving too fast. Just like sex, I

suppose.”

- “I would like to see politico constitutional change initiated within my father’s lifetime. I would then preside over its performance.” ■

Tonga's Crown Prince Tupouto'a in an undated photo