Islands

From the

Press

From a letter In Elcom News, staff magazine of the Papua New Guinea Electricity Commission FM IN HELL: Hoosh! please God my heavenly father. Put my bosses heads down to look down on me. For I’ll be ended up with ashes only. Bosses please do something we are burning. May be its a true stores bilong sunkamap. Everyday when the sun comes up I started to be burnt, and have to be burnt whole day long.

Sometimes I step out the door to get some wind, and as the Solomon sea breez touches my body I dream of paradise in heaven.

Sometimes when I am outside, I say to myself. Just stand close to the open door and feel it. But as I do 1 feel the hot air going out.

And as I look at my table I see the inviting documents of Satan on my trays. Should I refuse to go in? Should I take the documents out and do it outside? No! my bosses expect me to do it on my table in the hot burning store. Please God give rains in the day times and moon at nights. No sun is needed at Arawa. Otherwise put the everlasting Ice Block on roof of the stores. Please God I ask they Ice Block in they Stores Bosses name. Amen A.T.S. The Sinner, Arawa. Dear A.T.S., Not too sure whether your airconditioner has broken down or if Arawa is in the grip of the doldrums, but it does seem obvious that you have been standing close to the open door too often.

From Pete’s Diary in The Samoa Times, Apia Pigowners at Mulinuu have been been warned that the Legislative Department is on the warpath. The police have supplied the department with a rifle and plenty of ammunition to kill trespassing pigs from the lawns of Parliament House. One cynical report says that the pigs were not really looking for food but were digging in early to await the meeting of Parliament next month to protest the skyrocketing inflation. According to this report the pigs have suffered because their owners are spending all their money on themselves just to keep alive, leaving nothing to the pigs. \gain from Pete s Diary; The Tongan rugby men have been and ?°ne with cries of ill-treatment, bad refereeing and lousy food. One housand years ago Samoa had to go to war to get the Tongans out. lisa pity our forbears did not know about this much cheaper nelhod. It’s just as effective.

Replies to ‘This week’s question’ in The Fiji Times, Suva Do you like the new banknotes?

No, I don’t like the idea of the new bank design because I think l is just a waste of time and money.’ ‘Yes, I do like the new lesign on the new banknotes, because they will look better in vallets.’ ■rom a letter in the News Drum, Honiara, protesting at he cut in hospital services . Never before our local Doctors were your stepping stones and t is a great failure and shame for the Prime Minister and his government to see the importance of Doctors’ work. One European doctor in 1 979 told me when I asked him how much is 10% Doctors •vertime allowance and he said ‘one packet of chewing gum’

From a letter to the Cook Islands News, Rarotonga And as for the much told about cannibalism as far as I can glean this only happened when people were particularly angry with another and would not involve noisy rituals, the naked corpse roasting on a spit with the rest of the population dancing around whooping it up (probably a disappointment to the missionaries when they stormed the beaches of Aitutaki, Rarotonga, Penrhyn and the rest of the Cook Islands, bibles at the breast).

From a letter in The Fiji Times, Suva Many people are concerned about and deplore the rising crime rate and immortality in Fiji today . . .

From the Nauru Post Nauruans devote most of their energy to eating, and in the process have become a race of unhealthy blimps. It is a rare adult Nauruan who weights less than 200 lbs. Temptation lurks at the island’s only supermarket where shoppers waddle blithely past nutrition posters to fill their carls with cookies, cornflakes, canned meat and mountains of beer and soda pop and these are just snacks. . .

From Our News, PNG Office of Information, Port

Moresby

The Government will be giving more attention to women’s participation in the development of Papua New Guinea, the Prime Minister, Sir Julius Chan, has said. Sir Julius was addressing a meeting of New Ireland Provincial Women’s Council at Konos where they were celebrating International Women’s Day. He said women had a very special place in the Government and in PNG society. ‘By virtue of the existence of women I became what I am today. Without a good mother I would not have reached my position and I would not have been honoured to represent my people or my country,’ Sir Julius said . . .

From an ‘Off the cuff’ question in The Fiji Times, Suva, on whether a man should have more than one wife Bill Raileqe, Suva: ‘No, I don’t agree with the suggestion because the cost of living nowadays is too high and it would be too much for one man.’

From a letter in the News Drum, Honiara The Central Monetary Authority has corrected an ‘error’ in the new notes now being issued. The old notes specified: ‘These notes are legal tender for the payment of any amount.’ The new notes specify: ‘These notes are legal tender for $ ' One cannot now tender a $2O note to settle a $2OO debt, which one could have done with old notes. Someone has used his brains at CMA this time.

From a letter signed ‘Eunuch’ in the Cook Islands

News, Rarotonga

I remember that while ‘Playboy’ was selling in town nothing was made to reject it. I mean, you have seen them ‘Playboys’ and well you know how it is, so it boils down to ‘lf its still pictures, sell it, sell it, if its a moving one (Movie) reject it, reject it, its too hot, too hot!’ I suggest its time the Government elect a new Censorboard of free-thinking citizens with no hangups. Did you see the movie Voices’? Well they showed that to the Kiddies last Saturday night with a sex scene at the end of the film and, man, the whoops we got from the kiddies that night is enough to put a bunch of skinheads to shame at a soccer game at Liverpool... you can thank the ‘Ladies and Gentlemen’ of the censorboard for your poor choice of films.