"We'll fight them on the reefs

reefs and beaches ..."

PIM s brand new Defence Correspondent sends his first despatch from Suva.

No self-respecting nation can afford to be without a Defence Department—a show of strength.

Both the intruder and internal un rest must be fought. Let us take a look at one such new depart ment, filed on the fourth floor.

Names have been changed and any similarity to current government procedure in Fiji is purely co incidental.

SCENE: A modem air conditioned office save for one desk, one chair . . . and one Defence Secretary (ex - Military establishment) looking, not with out interest, at a group of school girls playing softball in the park below. Enter the head of the Defence Ministry.

SECRETARY: ( Jumping to his feet) Good morning, Minister!

MINISTER: Morning! Don’t get up. Oh, well, stand easy, then.

Looks as though we’re in business then. We’ll have to get some maps and things to fill up these walls.

Is this all the furniture we’ve got?

Have to get some memos on the move. We may have to see this British delegation this afternoon.

SECRETARY: Yes, of course, sir. Look, take this chair; I’ll get another from the outer office.

Minister: Yes.

(Secretary re-enters followed by young clerk carrying chair.) SECRETARY: This is John, sir.

We’re sharing him with Resources down the corridor.

MINISTER: Good. Well, he can start by getting us some pads and pens and things. Better get some coloured crayons as well. (Clerk backs out. Secretary sits himself down opposite the Minister, who has taken up position behind desk.) SECRETARY: I thought that survey in today’s paper put us in a favourable light. It is satisfying to know that the layman is conscious of what’s going on. I rather liked that one about a Defence Ministry being necessary

if we are to maintain law and order and to uphold a democratic government, MINISTER: Yes, most impor tant. We WILL do that. But there were a few stabs at the expense involved. Look, if we had had a few upheavals here they'd be screaming for something to be done. You’re satisfied with 6,000, aren’t you? Yes, I’ve asked you that before. It’s the same in the field . . .

SEC RET ARY: ( In terjecting ) What campaign was that, sir?

MINISTER: {Emphatically) The Rugby field. You’ve got to pre pare yourself for every contin gency. Sound in defence. Pre paredness. Have those Land Rovers arrived? Mobile units . . . mobility.

SECRETARY: I don’t think . . . {lnterrupted with the arrival of clerk.) SECRETARY: Good, that was quick! Put them down on the floor over there will you. Now, maps. You said maps, sir? What, of the main islands, the Pacific, and one of the world?

MINISTER: {Staring out of the windows overlooking the park be low) Mmm. Yes. And one of the capital and its environs. And some flags.

SECRETARY: What about books, sir. Any ideas?

MINISTER: Do you think we really ... Yes, I suppose so.

Churchill’s would be a good start.

Mm, the Gathering Storm series.

I’ve read two of the volumes.

Might as well get a paperback edition. Mao’s Thoughts? We can build up as we go along. Rommel’s Tank Warfare ?

Secretary: (As John

scribbles) How about Mein Kampfl K-A-M-P-F. ( John backs out).

MINISTER: You were in Ger many, weren’t you? Anyway you’d better get some shelves up. We must have some models made. Of towns and islands. If we are to

see these English fellows we’d better get together over lunch I think. I’ve had words with the Police Commissioner. Internal security. You can fill me in on the Army side. I think we are all right on internal security. We must tighten up, of course.

SECRETARY: Tighten up, sir?

MINISTER: Yes, on internal security. On the other hand the question of outside agencies be comes a little tricky. We have to ascertain the potential enemy.

SECRETARY; Yes, it is rather difficult, sir.

MINISTER: Process of elimina tion. {Laughing.) I think we can rule out Tonga, don’t you? They’ve stopped their raiding parties!

SECRETARY: Funny you should say that. Someone phoned up this morning, our first call, and said he had three outriggers for hire. Unfortunately he rang off before I had time to ask who it was.

MINISTER: Oh, you are bound to get that sort of thing at first.

You’ll have to have a check made on incoming calls. Now, we are an important base in the Pacific.

Australia and New Zealand appre ciate that. In fact it would be in their own interests, command of the Pacific and all that, that our waters are kept open in time of strife. And the Americans know all about the importance of the Pacific. So can we take it, then, that we could rely on all of them?

You see now that we have a foot in the UN, and if we got more equipment, our voice could be even more representative of the South Pacific. Right, I’m off to see the PM. Don’t forget those figures— men, rifles, and ... oh, no, we haven’t got any of those.

Secretary: No, Sir.

MINISTER: {Walking towards the door ) You staying here?

SECRETARY: Yes, I’d rather clear up a bit.

MINISTER; Can we be careful with the use of “rather”. I think we should be more precise. Good bye then. We’ll fight them on the reefs, eh? {Minister closes the door be hind him. Secretary jumps to his feet and rushes to the door.) SECRETARY: Sir, your brief case!