Good table manners are the thing

In the matter of food, more than in most things, the Loyalty Islander loves making a display; and sometimes all the women of a village would make itras (puddings) and present them to the visitor they delighted to honour. They knew he could not possibly eat more than one of these, and that as a matter of course he would invite all the villagers to eat with him.

Sometimes 20 or 30 of these itras have been given to us at one time for ourselves and our boat’s crew. One of the leading men of the village made an eloquent address in presenting them; and one of our party responded, thanking them for their great generosity and saying that as they had provided for us far more food than we could possibly consume, we should be very pleased if they would all sit down, and help us to do justice to the good things provided.

It was a very happy gathering the villagers had shown their generosity and good will to us; we had done the same to them; the etiquette of the country had been strictly observed; all was in good form, and all the people were contented. However many faults and deficiencies may be detected in the Lifuan’s character; surely in the matter of food and eating they might put many of our countrymen to shame. They have many unwritten laws on these subjects which are still strictly adhered to. For instance, never eat quickly; it denotes gluttony; always eat the food just in front of you, and never notice any dainties a little beyond; never eat before people unless they are eating too; share whatever you have with others, no matter how small it is, and look pleasant about it; take whatever is offered to you, whether you want it or not to refuse would show a spirit of ingratitude but take it slowly; indeed, if you can, ignore the gift for one or two seconds, then put out your hand and take it rather reluctantly, as though you were the one conferring the favour. By acting in this way you will prove that you are by no means of an avaricious disposition; if you are eating when an older person joins you, offer the food to him at once, and if he takes the whole of it look quite pleased and satisfied. If you are very popular with the natives, or if they feel they are indebted to you, they will sometimes come in a crowd, bringing you a present of yams, taro, nuts, fish or fowls. These things they will arrange before you, and whilst this is going on you are expected to observe nothing, no matter how the fish leap or the fowls flutter. But when the spokesman addresses you by name, waves his hand towards the pile of food, and says that the chief, and pastor, deacons, and church members, non-church members, and the rest of the people of the village have brought you this present to show their love to you, then only will you notice the things which lie before you, and give full expression to your great admiration and surprise at the generosity of the chief pastor, deacons, and all the people of the village. [From “Among the Natives of the Loyalty Group”, by Emma Had field, 1920.]