Fiji Limericks

[Mr. A. F, Ebert, now a resident of Kent, England, amused himself, when he was in Fiji, in composing limericks on Fijian place names. He writes: “All the characters in these exercises are purely imaginary. There is no reference to any person, living or dead. If any caps accidentally fit, they need not be worn.”]

Heads I Win.

There was a young man of Levuka, So proud of his prowess at snooker That if a chap licked him He turned round and kicked him, Or dotted him on the bazuka.

The Pacific Slope.

There was a young man of Lautoka Whose wife was as black as a poker; He became, for his sins, First, the father of twins, And second, a sugar-boat stoker.

Beauty Hath Charms.

There was a young girl of Nausori With the figure and face of a houri; You ought to have heard her, On trial for murder, Plead guilty—“ You’re not!” said the jury.

The American Barrington.

A subject of President Hoover Made a speech to the Customs at Suva.

He drawled, “Wall, I guess, That I love the U.S.

So I’m leaving her just to improve her.”

The Band Played “Aloha Oe.”

A nut-wallah near Vunilagi Was inclined to be —let us say, slangy.

He answered his boss In a tone rather cross, And departed on last week’s Aorangi .

Could You Do This?

There was an old man at Lekutu Who drank more than I could (or you, too).

He built a large house With the corks of carouse, Which was clever —I wish it were true, too.

Who’D Like His Job?

An impudent lad at Nasea Earned over a thousand a year; He received it, I’m told, Not in bank notes or gold, But in thundering kicks on the rear.

He Rode A Horse.

A hot tempered husband at Nadi Hit his wife with the nearest thing hadl, Because she had told him His car wouldn’t hold him Unless he grew rather less badi.

The Motto Of Fiji

A passenger off the Tofua Called out for a bottle of Dewar, But he sat there and cursed Till he perished of thirst, For they thought he had shouted “Malua!”*

Or “It’S A Car”

There was a young fellow at Ba Who purchased a second-hand car.

His stock of Fijian Was only a wee ’un — He used to say proudly “Sa ca!”*

For This Relief—

An Indo-Fijian named Chauthi Decided to take off his dhoti.

The knots were so tight That two days and a night Elapsed ’ere he muttered “Sa oti!”*

Duke Of Clarence (Fiji Style)

R.I.P. —the remains of John Jonah, A rabid, monotonous moaner.

He was seized by the mob, Given one for his nob, And drowned in a tub of yaqona. *Malua means “presently.”' Sa ca (pronouncecd “sa tha”) means “that’s bad.” Sa oti means it is finished.”

Mr. J. K. McCarthy, of the N.G. Dis trict Services and Native Affairs Depart ment, reached Sydney early in December by the Malaita from Rabaul.

Mr. A. L. Hope, of Messrs. W. R. Car penter and Co.’s establishment at Pondo, New Guinea, arrived in Sydney on leave by the December Neptuna.

Mr. R. C. Ollerenshaw, well-known Rabaul solicitor, arrived in Sydney on furlough by the Neptuna from New Guinea on December 15.