Troficalities

SOME time ago we made enquiries as to what had happened to Mortelmans, who was decribed in an article in this journal some three years ago as “the last of the Pacific pirates.” We have now been informed by an old resident of the Gilbert Islands that Mortelmans was released from a N.S.Wales gaol in 1927, and was de ported to his native country—Belgium.

THE reunion dinner of 60 returned sailors and soldiers, held at Kokopo, New Guinea, on August 4, was a com plete social success, and probably will be made an annual affair. The following is a copy of the menu card:

Rations

(Any complaints, roar up the Quartermaster)

Hors D’Oeuvres

Whitstable natives specially brought from Blighty as Souvenirs Oyster Cocktail SOUP—None All Quiet on the Western Front.

Filet Fish

Flounders in Shell Holes Shredded Potatoes

Iced Asparagus

(Scrounged from the Officers’ Mess)

Roast Turkey, Chicken And Ham

(Strewth! Wangled from G.H.Q.)

Salads

Dessert

(Not Tel-el-Kebir) Wine Trifle Fruit Salad and Cream Coffee, Woodbines, etc.

Napoo—Fini!

It was an ingenious compilation and created just the right atmosphere for the dinner.

OUR old friend “Sulphonol” sends us from the Solomon Islands an interest ing cutting from an American news paper, announcing that a new use for coconut oil has been discovered, in that it is a major ingredient in a new sham poo that has been produced to remove fleas from dogs and cats.

Our friend writes bitterly: “This will gladden the hearts of some of our poor planters. I am sure that the new inven tion will have a great vogue and that the consumption of coconut oil will be in creased amazingly. They will be com forted to know that it is only necessary to add to the preparation a small percen tage of orthophenylpheneil . . . all that remains now is for each Islands Govern ment to pass a law compelling natives to

deflea their dogs—and the coconut indus try will boom as never before. We might also provide that certain native labourers should use the solution on themselves.

We should then get more work done — they usually waste 75 per cent, of their time in scratching themselves.”

HOW many complacent Britons in Rabaul are aware that the tail of the British lion has been nipped by the in domitable German eagle? If anyone is interested he is invited to cruise in the middle of Rabaul harbour and train a pair of strong glasses upon the Matupi crater. There, right on the lip of the cra ter, close under the slowly rising smoke and steam, he will see the letters “KOLN” outlined in white on the black lava. Evi dently, when the cheery young officers of the German war-ship Koln were in Ra baul not long ago, they undertook the formidable task of climbing right up to the edge of the crater and, while there, they left this memento of their visit and of their spirit. The inscription is not easily located but, once it is seen, it is quite clearly followed.

A new definition of Samarai: “A small island surrounded by small houses.”

THE rapacity and savagery of the revenue collecting departments of Australia already are a by-word in this part of the world; but appeals for mercy to the Australian officials appear to have as much result as appeals to common sense. A typical example of what people who are anxious to trade with Australia have to endure, has come under our notice recently.

A man in Rabaul broke his typewriter and had to send it to Sydney for repairs.

When the machine arrived in Sydney it was pounced upon by the Customs officials —probably with screams of fiendish glee— and they would not release it until the unfortunate owner had deposited £11. Then the machine was sent to be repaired; and when the job was done and paid for, a gentleman from the Customs Department proceeded to earn the large salary paid to him by a grateful Commonwealth by carefully accompanying the typewriter from the repair shop to the steamer, and seeing that it was properly placed on board. The typewriter’s unhappy owner had to pay the Customs gentleman 6/for this service, in addition to paying sundry sums to other enterprising taxation officials. The Commonwealth of Australia eventually, and with obvious reluctance, returned to him his £11 —less 21/- repre senting taxation fees and impositions of various kinds.

The Rabaul man says that when his typewriter breaks again he will repair it with an axe—although he would much prefer to use the axe on certain gentlemen ‘‘down South.”

A TRADER in New Guinea, who car ries a very large stomach upon a gigantic frame, became severely ill; and his mate sent for the “liklik” doctor.

The specialist made a quick examina tion, and then shrugged his shoulders.

“Only a stomach-ache,” he said, reas suringly.

“Only a stomach-ache!” commented the other man. “But, my God, what an ache it must be!’' * * * Disgruntled and discouraged gentleman, sitting in hotel in the chief town of the Solomons: “Tulagi is the true centre of the world!”

Astonished friend: “Good heavens— how do you make that out?”

D. and d. Gent.; “Because there is absholutely no movement here.” * * * A FRIEND in the Islands sends us this extract from a letter which he has just received from a man in Dalmatia; “. . . and, finally, the Pacific Islands Monthly, which I received to-day with surprise and delight. . . . nothing could have been more acceptable.”

It may interest readers to know that, al though it is only a little over four years since the “Pacific Islands Monthly” was established, there are now few countries in the world where there are not regular subscribers to the magazine. There is one important institution in The Hague which pays 6/4 per month to have each issue of the magazine sent by air mail to Europe, so that it may have the earliest possible intimation of Pacific Islands development. * * * Something in the nature of a record for a roundabout way of receiving news was established when the m.v. Inverbank was recently refloated from Nasasi reef, near the mouth of Ba River, Fiji. Though the vessel was only a few miles around the coast from Suva, the first intimation that she was off the reef was received from London! The Inverbank was re floated at 1.30 a.m. on August 21, and the captain immediately attempted to get in

to touch with Suva by radio. Suva sta tion, however, was at that time closed down. The master thereupon wirelessed Sydney, and Sydney communicated by cable with the owners in London; they in turn, cabled the information to Messrs.

Brown and Joske, their Suva agents.

Such an occurrence supplies a cogent argument for the agitation in favour of keeping a permanent watch at Suva radio station.