Letters

Sir, It’s happened again - someone is play ing tricks on your typesetter! Somehow or other in my October letter the words “Irish Leprechaun” have been transposed into “naughty fairy”.

There are only two explanations for this, either the French Secret Service have infiltrated your offices and are trying to spread disinformation or the Hulamaloolies have made their way from Waiheke Island and have landed in Fiji!

Who you may ask are the Hulamaloolies?

I shall quote you three excerpts from The State of Waiheke by renowned author and brilliant cartoonist Jim Storey. His article “THE HULAMALOOLIES” con tained in this erudite and esoteric classic is headed: “ THERE ARE FAIRIES AT

The Bottom Of Our Island”.

“Years and years ago, little folk from all over the world flew to Waiheke Island for a great Festival of The Little People.

The local Patupaiarehe folk organised the festival and it was a big success. There was a lot of feasting, music, singing and dancing. There was also a great deal of speechmaking. The Festival went on for seven days and seven nights.

“The Hulamaloolies are a happy peo ple who spend a great deal of their lives

singing, laughing and dancing. They love

to play tricks on pompous people. You have been warned! If you feel an attack of

pomposity coming on, deflate yourself as

quickly as possible or the Hulamaloolies

will get you.”

“They say ‘tis only those human not blessed with the gift of proper communi cation with their fellow humans, that a Hulamaloolies will fully reveal himself to. On proper speaking terms that is. So if you should see people on the Island walk ing along, chattering away with not a liv ing soul in sight, it’s only the fairies they are talking to. These fortunate humans are to be envied, not pitied. You’ll be thinking by now, that this Waiheke is a strange and wondrous place, to be sure. And to be sure, it is.”

I shall sign off now, but let me let you into a secret - the Hulamaloolies were responsible for bewitching and befud dling French saboteurs Alain Mafart and

Dominique Prieur!

The only reason they were caught after their participation in the blowing up of the Rainbow Warrior in 1985 was because they wanted their deposit back on the rental van which they returned to Newman’s Depot!

If they had simply abandoned the van and gone straight to the airport they could have saved their government an apology (how galling!), $U58,542,856 (a maul ing!) and their confinement in prison (how appalling!) ‘Twas the Hulamaloolies all right!

Martin Leo

Otahuhu, New Zealand.