The news magazine of the South Pacific · since 1930

Pacific Islands Monthly, 1 September 1956Vol. XXVII, No. 2

The Eutychusian

pp. 89-105 · Read in the full issue

There Was Something Odd in the Attic

HIS face was sad for one so young, but kind, and the width behind his ears indicated either great mental power or excessive bone de velopment.

I felt drawn to find out which it was, so replied to his friendly glance as we passed in pacing the deck.

On the next round I turned and fell-in beside him.

“The climate,” I suggested, “is very agreeable here.”

“It is,” he said simply.

“Is this your first voyage to the Islands?” I asked.

“It is,” he answered.

“Perchance,” I went on, “you are accustomed to a milder zone?”

“I am,” he said. “Tennessee is tepid.”

“Tennessee,” I exclaimed, “how interesting. I have not before met a Tennessean. You have a fascin ating country I am sure. Was it not made famous by William Jennings Darwin? Are there not some strange religious systems there?”

“There are indeed,” he cried, “Some are sadly peculiar. It is re grettable when the Truth is so clear.”

“Yes, I, too, wonder at the abnormal movements of man’s mind in the religious realm,” I said feel ingly. “After all, simple faith and the kindest conduct. . .”

“Ah, yes, good conduct is im portant,” he agreed, “but that can come only from a right dividing of the World of Truth.”

“But, why divide that?” I asked.

“Why not take the little Truth we know wholly, and carry on with mercy. .

“Have you the Truth, Friend? he enquired.

“A gleam perhaps, Brother, and I followed the . . .”

“But why not have it all?” my companian cried earnestly. “It is so clear if we only read aright.”

“You are, I gather, a religious man,” I said. , .

“I am more, Sir,” he replied proudly. “I am an Eutychusian.”

I was somewhat startled. “May I ask you to spell that?” I said, wonderingly.

He spelled it.

“This is delightful,” I exclaimed, “it is so enlightening to meet with different shades of belief. I never have met an —er —follower of your faith before.”

“We are not many in this hemis phere,” he said sadly. “Few are they who walk in the right path, but soon, I trust, multitudes will know the way even in these islands of the sea.”

“You are a missionary, I pre sume?”

The author of this topical item, who is now a planter, after being for many years a missionary (strange metamor phosis!) sent it along with this note: “in view of present in tensified concern over the tangled interpretations by X number of missions among innocents abroad, you may consider this skit worth space.

I printed it many years ago for private circulation and to my knowledge it has not appeared in any publication

“I am the advance agent of a mighty army. Our Cause must in crease. It must,” he repeated, “for light cannot be hid.”

“Strangely enough,” I said, “I think that I have met a man who belonged to your Order. I recall that he never would light a fire on a Friday.”

“No, he probably was not one of us,” the missionary answered. “We have little concern with fires on Earth. Our main foundation is the upper-room. In fact, we sometimes are nick-named ‘atticites’. And how any thinking man fails to see the impregnability of our position is a mystery to me There is over whelming precedent for worship ping in an upper room. The second of the greatest epistles, the second chapter and the second verse, is very definite. The very fact that there are three twos in its com position is to us an unmistakable sign of divine inspiration. There is no scriptural example of worship on the first floor, but the upper chambers are clearly indicated in the two, two, two. . .”

“Too True!” I exclaimed, glancing anxiously at the enthusiast.

“There was Elijah,” he went on.

“You may remember that when he stayed with the widow, at Shumen, her guest-chamber was an upper chamber on the wall.”

Memories of boyhood Bible Lessons came mysteriously to me.

“Was it not Elisha who stayed there?” I said. “Was it not he who burned the cakes?”

“Did I not say Elisha?” he questioned. “Yes, it was he who stayed in the upper room. You may remember, too, that Solomon over laid the upper chambers of the temple with gold. Why did he do that if they held no special significance? In fact, we read in Ezekiel fifty-two five, that all the upper rooms had special arrange ments. It was also from upper

(Continued on Page 102)

chambers that Ahaziah fell and Jezebel was pushed. And there were altars on the roof of the upper chambers of Ahaz, made by kings. .

“Quite so,” I interrupted, “I am sure the kings. . .”

“Dorcas,” he shouted, “was brought back to life in an upper room. Right through we get it, up to the time when the first missionary held a service in the upper room at Troas from which Saint Eutychus fell on his head.

You get it all in the twentieth chapter of Acts. Our arch-angel even now wears a golden knob on his crown to mark the place where he hit. Our dear Eutychus stuck the sermon for four hours before he gave up, or rather, went down.

And that was only because of the heat of the old-fashioned lamps.

“Of course,” he went on thought fully, “now we have a dispensation to use electric light which is less conducive of somnolence. Surely the reason why the churches have not swept the world is that they will not rise to upper rooms. I consider the argument that many of their buildings are on high foundations to be a mere begging of the question! Do you not agree that all religious bodies should raise a few extra pounds and always hold their services in upper rooms?”

“Certainly, Sir, I do,” I exclaimed.

“The extra cost could be recovered by letting the basement.”

“That, Sir, is a consideration that has not entered into our calcula tions. Still, it would assist the finances. But the call is to follow the example of the saints of old.

To be content with lower floors is disloyal to holy precedents. I, Sir,

intend to establish churches om higher plane. I go to a people w have not yet been contaminated J custom and who must see that! ways of great men of old werel purposeless, and the upper ro© should be restored to their right, place.”

“And do you confine your theot I asked, “merely to upper rooms

s of worship or does it embrace ordinary living conditions? I that one should carry religion everyday life. If an upper is necessary for Sundays it d be used always. Have you i deck cabin for instance?” he murmured, “I had not jht of that. And they are expensive are they not? Any- I have the upper berth in my 99 ell, that is one up on your hour; but these berths really iot roomy,” I suggested. “You find that the upper rooms at ;otels cost a bit more than the ones; but it would not be a start for a missionary career ow that you are satisfied with wer plane on ordinary days you demand on Sundays.” >u have given me food for ;ht, Friend. I suppose it is y worth while trying to change abin now, but I will take your e on landing.” e you not afraid of the danger enturing among primitive e with new ideas for their tecture?” I asked. “It might ivisable to get the advice of government, by the way, be advocating changes in build tyles.” am not afraid,” he claimed ly. “When the people weigh /idence I am sure that they adjust their dwellings to the knowledge. Surely the Gov snt will approve of that. And y kill me, in what better cause me die?” ♦ * * rONG boomed from below. We ecided to join the assembly : afternoon-tea. Unfortunately, 3 top of the companion stairs, aipmate tripped over the mat spreadeagled forward. I put ay hand but was too late to aim. h a heavy bump he hit the n step. Several rushed with

me to assist the sprawling form but when we got it up a large lump was plainly to be discerned on the poor man’s head.

He lingered for a day, but despite the skill of the ship’s surgeon, and the patient’s faith that he would be restored as was Eutychus, he passed away.

Before doing so he asked me to write to friends, whose addresses in Tennessee he gave me. Although he was dying through an attempt to descend to a lower room, he made me promise to proclaim his martyrdom.

That event cast quite a gloom over all aboard, and after we had buried him there was scarcely a dry lip on the ship.

' Applications for phil a t e i > covers (to commemorate ti '• 1956 Olympic Games) which Qanr With n th fr r?P Athens Austral with the Olympic torch should ; made to the Office Controlle • Qantas Empire Airways Ltd., GPO Box 489, Sydney. The covers wil< bear Greek stamps from a set rep resenting ancient Greek art. Covei ■ for addresses in Australia, Norfolk Island and Papua-New Guinea will be delivered through normal postal channels. t The Assembly of the Union Francaise recently adopted a pro posal for the construction of an aerodrome of international class at Papeete, Tahiti.