Sucker From

Tahiti

By

J.P.S.

WELL, there they go—and I cer tainly envy them,” said George, as the Solent lifted her bulk from Lauthala Bay and set her nose in a slow climb to the assigned altitude, heading eastward —towards Tahiti.

“Yes,” I said, “It’s certainly a wonderful place for tourists — and others! No place—not even Honolulu —has had such a terrific build-up of attractive publicity.”

“Well, you must admit it’s a lovely island —spectacular moun tains, lovely beaches, French cuis ine, easy liquor laws, beautiful women—what more could you want!”

“Nothing,” I said. “Absolutely nothing—in fact, there are some who could wish for less—old Wagner by the rail over there, for instance.” I indicated a rather shabbily-dressed, slightly-built man of some seventy summers, who was watching the big aircraft dis appear. “Let’s get back to town and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Later, as we sat on the veran dah of the Grand Pacific, I told him that that old boy was a case in point. This was the story.

He is an American, and he had a small ironmongery business in the Middle West somewhere. All his life he’d dreamed of going to Tahiti—and he finally made it two years ago.

I’ll never forget the day he arrived. He travelled in the ship I was serving in at the time. We were due off Papeete at 8 a.m. I was up at six, and noticed him by the rail, so strolled over. But Wagner was in another world— gazing at those misty peaks and the white line of surf on the Punaauia reef. He never even heard me say good morning.

Well, we landed him in due course, and the few days we were in port I noticed him from time to time round the various joints, having a whale of a time. Yes, Tahiti was the end of the rain bow. The States would not be see ing Wagner again. He’d been sav ing for about 50 years for this, so he wasn’t wanting in dollars— yet!

Two months later we dropped in again. I didn’t see the old boy around, so made a few inquiries.

Oh, yes, he was out in the Dis tricts—living with Babette.

“Great Scott,” I said, “Babette can’t be a day over 22, and, dam mit, she’s a smasher —what on earth would she knock around with a bloke of Wagner’s age for?”

Nevertheless, that was the way of things, they said.

Then, just before sailing, I saw him for a few minutes. He was radiant with joy. Sure, Babette was with him—the prettiest girl in town. Wonderful kid. She’d look after him. They were building a fine little place out in the country.

Babette had a piece of land out there. Yes, sir, O’Brien was dead right—and all the rest of them.

To think he hadn’t come here 30 years ago. “You’ll have to come out and see us some time.” I said I would, first opportunity—and we sailed.

We never got back there, and I often wondered how it was pan ning out for Wagner. Then, when I arrived here in Suva a week ago, who should be sitting right there but Wagner—a picture of misery.

I could see right away that the dream was ended —had turned into a nightmare, in fact. We shook hands and after the third Scotch Wagner started to thaw out a little. • * * “Yes, sir,” he said. “Boy, was I taken for a ride! Sure, I should have known what was coming.

Sure, I should have had more sense. Sure, I read the wrong books. Wal, brother, I’ve learnt the hard way.”

“Ah, well,” I said. “You seem to have enjoyed yourself while it lasted, so what are you griping about. Now that you’ve got Tahiti out of your system, you can go back and settle down quietly in the Middle West.”

“Settle down quietly!” said Wagner. “Yeah? What on?”

“Hell!” I said. “Is it as bad as that? Surely you had no trouble in disposing of the house at a good figure.”

“Listen, brother!” said Wagner.

“You’ve seen all them dandy little villas strung at intervals all the way from Faaa down to Taravao.

Wal, I figger that at least 70 per cent, of ’em have been financed by guys like me—and not all Amuri cans, neither. No, sir.

“Listen, man!” Wagner con tinued, “I’ll tell you why all them lovely gals round the Papeete bars are so gol-dumed happy and carefree. Most of ’em are set up in ten-thousand-buck houses in the country.”

“But, man,” I said, “you don’t mean to tell me that you gave her the house?”

“ not exactly,” said Wagner.

Here’s the pay-off. Everything went swell up to about three weeks after we got the house finished.

Yes, sir, maybe it was worth it after all! Then one morning Babette disappeared. Didn’t say where she was going. But I heard there was a boat in.

“Then, next day, she arrives out in a taxi with a bloke from the ship, walks in and looks at me as though she’d never set eyes on me before, and says, ‘Who the hell are you? Get off my property.’ Just like that—and I could see she meant it.

“Wal, sir, it hit me for the first time that it was her property. Me being a foreigner, everything had had to be fixed in her name. Of course, she would have got the house in the long run, when she’d planted me in the ordinary way— but, brother, I sure wasn’t figger mg on it this way. Kinda thought she wouldn’t mind waiting five or ten years.

“Yes, sir, they sure laughed when I got back to town. I seen Babette in Quinns a few days later and overheard Marie and Lisette and some of them other sweethearts congratulatin’ her for pullin’ it off Bro-ther! Seventeen thousand three hundred and seventy-two dollars and 47 cents O’Brien’s cost me up to this morning—and I’ve still got to get back to the States.

Worst of it is I can’t go back to the old home town. Wal, how the heck can I? They’ll aU know the story. I’ve still got a few bucks back in the States—but it’s going to be tough going. Yes, sir!” * * * that’s Wagner’s story,” I said to George. “I’m reasonably

sure that he’s dead right about that sort of thing happening down there every day. They never seem to learn. Well, naturally, the victims don’t give it a lot of publicity when they get back home, so the story just doesn’t get around.”

“They ask for it!” said George.

“Tahiti is a wonderful island—as beautiful as any in the world, I suppose—and with any number of charming and decent people there to meet, if you look for them.

There just seems to be something in the air down there that drives the steadiest of men crazy. Any way, I still want to go back ”

One of those lovely valleys on the Island of Tahiti.