Whisky

One Bottle Of

A 50-Years-Old Memory

By F. T. Goedicke-Van Asten

IN 1895, I was the proprietor of the only hotel in Nukualofa. This is the story of how I hoodwinked the European policeman of the Tonga Police Force.

The “good old djays” in Tonga, when a hotelkeeper could sell a bottle of liquor to a native and not be prosecuted are now gone. A law prohibiting the sale of liquor to natives had been passed, then, but was not enforced. The Tongans were well behaved at that time, and no drunkenness was visible.

In 1895, the Tonga Government em ployed in their regular police force a European policeman, at a salary of £5O per annum. He also got a prisoner as ser vant, and a piece of land where he could plant his yams.

Policeman X was a regular customer at my hotel, but a bad payer. After he had been warned, several times, that his credit would be stopped if he did not settle his account, and he took no notice, his credit was stopped. To take his revenge, he told several people that he would watch me selling liquor to natives, and would have me prosecuted.

AT about this time there arrived the SS “Upolu,” from Sydney. She had on board a new clerk, Jimmy Green, for the firm of Forsyth, Schulz & Co., at Nukualofa. A few days later this clerk reported to Mr. H. Schulz, his manager, that someone had stolen his black coat. The manager sent for Police man X, and toldi him to call all the Niue boys together, and have their boxes searched. (In those days, the firms in Tonga employed many Niue boys as labourers.) In the first box Mr. X opened, he found a bottle of whisky. He took the bottle to the manager, and told him where he had found it. “Take the bottle away,” said the manager. “We are not looking for whisky, but for a black coat.”

Mr. X, not being satisfied, rushed with the bottle to the Premier’s office, and told the Premier he had found it in a box belonging to a Niuean who had told him he had bought it from “Fred” (my Tongan name) and that he wanted me prosecuted.

The Premier told Mr. X to send the Niue boy to his office.

At the Premier’s office, the boy said: “I had a letter from my father at Niue, who is sick, and has been told to drink every morning a glass of milk with a spoonful of whisky added. As there is no liquor in Niue, I bought this bottle to send it by Captain Ross, but Captain Ross did not go to Niue on this trip, so I kept it in my box to be sent by first chance.”

The Premier said; “As it is for medi cine, there will be no prosecution. Leave the bottle here and, when Captain Ross sails for Niue the next time, come here and take it away.”

This arrangement did not suit Mr. X— he still told people that he would catch me selling liquor to natives. So to be even with Mr. X, I played a trick on him.

I went into the bar, and took down a bottie of Dewars Whisky and also an empty one. I filled the empty one with tea, and added water until it had the same color as whisfey, corked it, and placed a new cap on it, making it appear as a new bottle of whisky. I wrapped the bottle in paper, placed it in my hand bag, and marched with it to the Premier’s office.

“Good morning Mr. Premier,” I said, I hear you have a bottle of whisky here which was found in a box belonging to a Niuean, who said that he had bought u /join me. Could I have a look at the bottle, to see if it is the same kind as I sell at my hotel?”

The Premier placed the bottle on the table in front of me. I opened my nand bag, brought out my bottle, and placed it beside the other, viewing it very critically. I pointed; out that both bottles had the same label and, as I was the only one in Nukualofa who sold “Dewars”

Whisky, it must have been bought from me.

The Premier told me what the Niuean had said, and he had arranged to leave the bottle there until Captain Ross was going to Niue.

After this conversation,, I made a few surreptitious movements, and placed the bottle of whisky in my handbag and left the bottle of tea on the table, A WEEK later was New Year’s Eve.

The clerk of the Post Office, de Lambert, called at the Premier’s house to wish him a happy New Year.

The Premier lamented that he had not a d£op in the house to drink the old year out. But, wait! He called his ser vant, Makuka, and sent him for the bottle of whisky.

Ana, the Premier’s wife, fetched three tumblers, a jug of water and a corkscrew.

When Makuka returned, de Lambert took upon himself the honour opened the bottle, half filled the tumblers with the nectar, and the Premier’s wife added water. They took up their glasses, Tonga fashion, to wish each other a Happy New Year.

No sooner had the Premier got his mouth full of the supposed nectar than he spat it out, crying “Kaka Peleti he sells tea to the Niues.”

Not to be disappointed, he sent Makuka to the hotel with four dollars, for 2 bottles of whisky and to tell Feleti to send whisky, but no tea.

I gave Makuka the whisky, and added a bottle of Champagne, wth a note wish ing the Premier a Happy New Year.

A few months later de Lambert came to the hotel to buy a bottle, saying “Give me whisky, but not tea.” I asked what he meant, and he said “I know all about you—you are selling tea to the Niues”

I told him not to talk nonsense and then he told me what had happened on New Year’s Eve.

Now, Leo the Niuean, Henry Schulz (manager for Forsyth, Schulz & Co.)

Jimmy Green (their clerk) Sateki (Premier) his clerk (Buletele, who be came, later on, Premier Tuivakana) de Lambert (Post Office Clerk) Makuka (Premier’s servant) Ana (wife of Sateki) —all have gone to meet their maker.

Only two are left Feleti, the one-time hotelkeeper, and European Policeman X. r ihe latter has long gone to a country where they have prohibition.