"Remote Control"

Tahiti Has a "Remote Control"

Curio Boom

From .Our Own Correspondent

Papeete, Mar. 3.

WE have had something of a tea-pot tempest in the island “curio” in dustry. As related to me, it has happened in this wise: New Caledonia is the distributing centre where curios in demand by the armed Forces in the South-west Pacific are accumulated.

A steady supply of articles fashioned from pearl-shell island “pupu” (small sea shells), and the like, has been flowing from Tahiti to Noumea—at prices care fully calculated by our Papeete middle men on the basis of “all the traffic would bear.”

Our United States Army authorities at Noumea—accustomed though they are to see the men under their command “gouged” to the limit by civilians of every country, including their own—were thor oughly outraged at this Tahiti procedure.

Accordingly, an officer with the rank of Colonel was sent to Papeete to place the souvenir traffic on a commercial instead of a profiteering foundation.

Our astute Papeete middleman (after battering down prices to be paid to the actual makers of souvenirs—especially to* natives of the outer islands) surrendered unconditionally to the gallant Colonel.

They did not, however, neglect the time honoured custom of packing all the big apples at the top of the barrel; while the little apples (consisting of defective and inferior workmanship) were carefully assembled deeply in the interior.

The Colonel is reputed to have brought with him a sum exceeding six million francs, and he is presumed to have ex pended the greater part before he departed from Tahiti.

In due time, the Colonel and his mer chandise arrived at New Caledonia, where the little apples saw the light of day.

Shortly afterwards, a very caustic radio gram—from Noumea to Papeete—revealed great displeasure ove£ the matter of the little apples—and names were men tioned.

In the meanwhile, additional supplies of “curios”—alleged to have been ordered by the Colonel on the terms of “payment for the merchandise on its arrival fit Noumea,” had been despatched. The value of this consignment is stated to have exceeded one million francs.

The intelligence of its arrival at its destination came in a radiogram phrased somewhat in this manner: “A number of packing - cases containing so-called ‘curios’ have been put ashore at Noumea.

Would someone please send information as to the ownership of this merchandise and what disposition should be made of it?”

Mention of the Colonel, in frantic radio grams despatched from Papeete, brought the reply that this officer had been trans ferred to a distant station; 'that he had left no information concerning mer chandise other than that already paid for and delivered; that Noumea would like to know what to do with these derelict wares..

Elsewhere in the world, presumably, the sun followed its appointed course through the heavens overhead; but dur ing forty-eight miserable days, a complete blackout prevailed at Tahiti, while a clue of red-tape was slowly followed through a gloomy labyrinth of displeasure and misunderstanding.

NOW, all of us know that the rain falls on the just and unjust alike. So also had suspicion and displeasure been visited upon all of our “curio” mer chants. But the radiogram which came from Noumea on the forty-ninth day, in addition to announcing that funds had been despatched to pay for all mer chandise arrived in New Caledonia, designated, by name, one righteous man who was without guile and who had packed only big, sound, red apples into his barrels.

Would this-gentleman, the message in quired, come to Noumea and arrange to supply all souvenirs required from Tahiti by the US armed Forces?

The gentleman would. He has departed to New Caledonia on board a steamer bound for that island. The sun of “Dollar Prosperity” may, therefore, con tinue to shine on this rather remote and isolated community.

The little apples will have to be sent, henceforth, to “Hawaii; where long ex perience in disposing of such merchandise to tourists has developed a technique more perfect than that prevailing at Noumea, South. Sea artifacts are as sembled by curio merchants at Honolulu for distribution to the armed Forces, north of the Equator.

Why, in time of war, the soldiers and sailors of our several armed Forces should become the objective of every weasel, barracuda, harpy, leech and ter mite in Christendom, is explicable only by specialists in cerebroscopy, and in the psychology of carnivora.