Send Tibetans To

Hawaii!

And Poiiticions to Tibet

(Some Wandering Generalisations by

A. C. Rowland) AN old school-friend in New Jersey (who is a member of the Republican Party) writes to recommend Gover nor Warren’s political speeches as the most efficient soporific that has come to his knowledge.

My listenings at the radio have con firmed a long-standing opinion that any student of US political “flapdoodle” will find it at its fullest flower and perfec tion in the speeches of Governor Bald win, of Connecticut.

Alas, the solemn, cranky old Connecti cut Yankees, I knew as a boy, have bred a race of Clown Worshippers;, for have they not elected a Hollywood blonde (the glamour girl of the GOP) to represent them in the Congress at Washington?

Even California has not yet achieved that.

The quality of the initial eloquence would indicate that Mr. Roosevelt’s parti sans need only to smile beneficently, while his opponents talk themselves into utter defeat.

The statesmen of the United Nations have assembled to contrive the frame work of a just and peaceful world. But the politicians are girding their loins to batter any edifice the statesmen may set up into a stark and empty ruin. Would it not be advisable, for the sake of the common weal, to banish all politicians to Tibet?

To be sure, this would visit calamity of immeasurable proportions upon Tibet, and might so change the climate of Central Asia that the snows on the Himalaya peaks would melt and the great rivers of the plains flow hot, scalding waters.

But the universally accepted principle of “the greatest good to the greatest number” could be invoked to justify the procedure.

The Tibetans could be sent to Hawaii.

And then there is the Grand Lama. rE great Phineas T. Barnum, in the most expansive flights of his imagi nation, never dreamed of so glitter ing a prize. The presence of the Grand Lama, as President of the Booster Club, would make Hawaii the greatest tourist centre on earth. Not only the curious from every land, but pilgrims from all Asia would pour into Hawaii to see or to pay honour to this mysterious and holy personage.

The health of the community would be improved by the Tibetan custom of serv ing tea laced with ghee, at social func tions, instead of cocktails. The whirling of Tibetan prayer-wheels would provide mild exercise for invalids, as well as a new voice in the symphony of Honolulu street noises.

The 30 surviving full-blood Hawaiians might be persuaded to marry Tibetans and thus produce an exotic blend of Hula girls to give variety to the present mono tonous Sino-Hawaiian “Sunkist Blonde” floor-shows in the waterfront honky tonks.

As all the politicians would be in Tibet, there would be no one to stir up racial jealousy. Hawaii would become the most harmonious community in history.

Flight-Lieut. Don Aidney, RAP, of Fiji, has been awarded the Distinguished Fly ing Cross. He is the first member of the Fiji RAF contingent to receive an award

for gallantry.