"Bring 'Im Ak-is!"

Story of a Wireless Set

LAZARUS lives out on the other side of the sunrise, where he is the soli tary white lord of the Ontong Java (or Lord Howe Group, North-eastern Solomons) and where visitors coincide with Halley’s Comet—more or less.

When the copra market jittered up to nearly £2O per ton. about the close of 1936, Lazarus gave himself a long-pro mised holiday in Sydney. He did not buy a sundial, or take shares in the Bridge; but he was “spruiked” into bringing back £6O worth of wireless, so that, if he was far removed from phy sical contact with Europe he at least could hear what Hitler and Co. were saying.

He duly arrived home; and no time

Wjis lost in installing the set. He switch ed on to hear—profound nothing! As it would probably be six months before the vessel came back again, he instant ly re-cased the set. and sent it back to the suppliers for overhaul.

Months later, it arrived again—with a bill tor about £2O for repairs and charges—and once again it was installed It was switched on—with equally suc cessful results! ak-S°” kie! roared Laz - “Bring ’im A few well-aimed blows with the axe and the whole contraption was reduced to matchwood and bits, which were carefully re-cased and taken back aboard the schooner. v^ d B az - to the skipper: “Hand the X.Y.Z thing over to 8.P.. and tell them to send it back to the suppliers with my compliments, and here’s a covering letter telling ’em that if they can get it going they can have it for nothing on condition that they don’t sell it to anybody in the Solomons”.

The skipper glanced at the remains, and said: “But what did you do that for, Laz.?”

Well”, said Laz.. “Copra, as you know, is down to bedrock, and I can’t afford bread and butter, let alone bills for 20 quid for wireless repairs. So I thought the best thing to do was to cut my

losses !”-

R.C.L.