About Wireless
p. 44 · Read in the full issue
wireless pedal sets are becom * ing so numerous about the Islands now that we have decided to take up the broadcasting business.
It wasn’t until the other day that we discovered that there was any opening for us. It happened like this. We were staying in one of those places where a ten-head battery rudely disturbs the peace and solitude of the Papuan jungle, and our tank went dry, for an unaccount able reason. Investigation was impera tive, so we decided to start on the down pipe.
Our ladder was not of the best, but it allowed us to reach the roof in compara tive comfort. Cleaning out a down pipe is not what it’s cracked up to be, but we had reached the second bend, and were laboriously scanning its innards for blockages, with only the latter half of us able to drink in the glorious tropical sunshine, when something happened.
The ladder slipped, leaving us hanging in mid-air.
We ask you, what would you have said? Anyhow, we said it and, unfor tunately, forgot that it was a down-pipe.
The sound carried to the tank, \\Tiich acted as a loud speaker.
Anyhow, all the neighbours wanted to know what station we had got on to with our new wireless. It is being kept a dark secret till the patent is secured.
Then we propose to start a new career as an announcer. This will probably create a boon in the radio industry, as there will be no children’s hour, no classical stuff, and no political reports.
As a substitute for all these, we prob ably will teach the native language.
No, we don’t quite mean that. We have already taught th£ native language, and he picks it up far too easily. Only the other day we got into hot water when the cook expressed his real meaning in the hearing of the wife. He said he’d learnt it from us!
What we do mean is this. The new housewife arrives, straight from her un pretentious bungalow in the city. She tells her boy to do something and he looks blank and doesn’t do it. She im mediately rushes, and pedals her set, and asks our service department what she should say. We are at once at the mike, and let our head go.
The outcome is that she brings an ac tion and gets a quid and costs for ob scene language and assault, and has no more trouble with cooks. Everyone is satisfied.
Then there is the intrepid explorer who goes forth with 20 or 30 carriers into the jungle. In the course of the journey there is talk of mutiny among the natives. He pedals his set and informs us of his difficulty. We ask him to erect his loud speaker, chase one of our com mercial vehicles around with the mike, and give our client the full force of a local gear change. His carriers tremble in sheer terror, thinking that all the powers of the jungle are enveloping them and rush to their employer for protection.