Iropicaiities

the New Hebrides:— * During a temporary shortage of native assistance in the house lately, one Annie (who had known “better days,” but was at present married to a bush-man) was lending a hand in the kitchen.

One afternoon, the missus having retired for her siesta, I found myself still busy with a few necessary jobs—at the moment clearing up the drug-chest, which happened to be near the kitchen.

I was, somehow, subconsciously aware that the dinner dishes had all been washed and dried, and that Annie had emerged from the kitchen with a basin, and was making for one of the tanks.

With a flash of what almost amounts to genius in a mere man, I thought I recog nised the basin.

“That basin,” I said, “you want ’im that basin along what ? That one, ’e basin belong wash dish?”

“Yes,” she said, “ ’e basin belong wash dish. Now me wash’ ’im hair belong me.”—“Ambrim.” * ♦ ♦ A LUDICROUS situation was created by Pan-American Airways China Clipper on the first stage of her return flight from New Zealand to San Fran cisco. She left Auckland at 4.17 a.m. on Sunday, April 4, vet she arrived at Pago Pago (American Samoa), over 1500 miles away, at 5.11 p.m. on Saturday, April 3, according to international time. Thus the Clinper reached her port the evening before she was due to take off. The explanation of this piece of apparent temporal juggling lies in the fact that the giant monoplane crossed the inter national date line (180th meridian) at 10.35 a.m., Auckland time. This took it back from Sunday to Saturday. She had already covered 720 miles and the reaming 800 were completed the same day. * ♦ ♦ TAURING the Sydnev Show, a French man who could not speak English (’ame to Sydnev from Noumea to buy a bull for herds in the New Hebrides. He brought an introduction to Dalgety and Co., who provided an interpreter and sent him to the Show. After much in vestigation, the bull was bought, and preparations were made for shipment.

The Frenchman had with him an official document, requiring from the Australian authorities a certificate that the bull was free from certain diseases. The inter preter gave Dalgetv’s his reading of the list of diseases. There was one disease that tied the stock experts in a knot— they had never heard of it. The inter preter, challenged, stuck to his inter pretation, Dalgetys took the document to the French Consulate. Interpretation supplied: fee. 11/10. The word was the same. Officials could not certify the bull free from something they had not heard of. Dalgety officials, headachy and blas phemous, took the document back to the French Consulate for further considera

tion. Interpretation supplied, with true Gallic politeness; fee, 11/10. The word was still the same! In the end, desperate officialdom shipped the bull, with a certi ficate which they hope will satisfy French requirements. But the next bull-buyer from the French islands who visits Messrs. Dalgety will not be received as cordially as is usual. ♦ ♦ ♦ A CCORDING to newspaper reports published on March 24, two anthro nologists, Mr. A. J. Marshall and Miss Kvelvn Cheeseman, have been lecturing f he Royal Geographical Society on con ditions in New Guinea and New Hebrides.

Some of their statements appear exag gerated and ridiculous. For instance, Miss Cheeseman, “referring to the plight of the New Hebrideans, said she was glad it was dark when she passed through Vila, returning from her New Hebrides expedition, so that she could not see the British flag.”

A few kind words, addressed directly to Miss Cheeseman and Mr. Marshall, and some suggestions, seem to be called for. However, it perhaps would be only fair to them to await a full report from London of what they actually did say. ♦ ♦ ♦ A YOUNG missionary whom I know climbed up into a rather tough bush village in his district, for the first time, to hold a simple service. It had been a hot, stiffening tramp of nearly an hour, and he gratefully spied a conveni ent. clean-looking log.

Keen both to make a friendlv impres sion and to practise what little of the native language he was getting to know, he said, as he wearily sat down on the log, what he meant to be, “I am an old man.”

The yells of laughter were too spon taneous for a joke as feeble as that, and he quickly asked a native teacher, who had accompanied him, what he had said.

“Oh, nothing,” said the teacher. “But you just said, T am the devil.’ ” —P.