Trade (Anecdote)

six months’ leave in the middle of December.

TRADE TTE was a brown brother and I a missionary.

My typewriter was working- at top speed in getting through reports and necessary correspondence when he arrived. From the office chair I could see him and his grass-clothed consort, and he could see me. For a while he stood about invitingly and I did not stop.

Then he coughed politely to draw my attention, so I stopped the rattle of the keys and said, “Yes, what?” I was new to the district and did not know the vernacular.

He spread out a piece of paper and said the one word, “Money.”

I confirmed his statement, “Yes!”

Then he again caressed it and straightened it out and held it so that I might clearly see that it was a ten-shilling note, and again said “Money.”

I gathered that he wanted to say something more about it, but, language was a difficulty. So I said, “What for?” Said he again “Money” and then “Store.” Said I, “No.”

There was a trader’s store within reach, and the established rule is that we do not interfere with his business. The brown brother knew that, and he also knew I had just arrived and might respond to a “try-on.” But, I did not.

The sequel came out on a visit to the trader. I had met him before and we were friends, I asked him whether the native had gone to him with his money.

“What?” he said, “That cow! Yes, he came all right. This is what happened.

I was just about shutting up when he arrived and started to stare about and to take stock of the place. I served all the other ‘boys’ and he was still staring. ‘Here, come along if you want anything,’

I said, and the dolt stood there and spread out his ten-shilling note and said ‘Money.’ ‘So I see,’ said I, ‘and what about it?’

“ ‘Money,’ he said, ‘change!’

“Of course, that’s part of the routine, you know; they get their money changed first and then buy. So I gave him two florins and six single shillings for it. ‘Now!’ I said.

“‘Money, Taubada, change!’ he said, and held out a shilling, for which I gave him two sixpences.

“ ‘Now, hurry up and say what you want!’ said I.

“ ‘Fissk.’

“ ‘What?’

“ ‘Fissk. ’Ook.’

“ ‘Big one?’

“ ‘Little bit big, Taubada.’

“But, I was out of medium hooks and told him so.

“ ‘Big feller then, Taubada.’ That was sixpence, “ ‘Anything else?’

“ ‘Yes, Taubada, change.’ And he produced a florin. I gave him a shilling and two sixpences for it.

“ ‘That’s the last change I give you; I’ve been on my feet all day!’

“ ‘Sixpen’ sugar, Taubada.’ I weighed it out and gave it to him.

“ ‘Yes?’

“ ‘Rice, Taubada.’

“‘How much?’

“ ‘Shilling, Taubada —no, sixpen’.’ So I gave him the sixpen-orth of rice, and I tell you I was getting tired.

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* t ft R, N PST “‘Now, quick, any more?’

“ ‘Yes, Taubada, sixpen’ kuku (tobacco).’ I gave him that.

“‘Now, come; I want to close the store,’ I said.

“ ‘No, Taubada. Taubada you wait one minute I You want buy 'im nosebone along store?’

“‘No; they’re no use here, miles from anywhere. Come on. I’m going to close!’

“‘No. One minute, Taubada!’ And, like a fool I stayed.

“ ‘Taubada, you buy ’im shell along boy?’

“ ‘Of course I do, and you needn’t ask me that and keep the store open only for that. Get on out quick!’

“ ‘No, Taubada, wait wait . . . ' “ ‘Wait, nothing! I’m through, and the store is being closed NOW! So, hop it!’

And I shepherded him out still talking.

“And when he got outside, do you know what he did? He vilified me in some of the choicest English I have ever heard from a native and with some of the Australian slanguage thrown in. I ran him off the place, the cow!”