Tropicautiies

WE think it is the worst “poetry” we have ever seen; but our Nukualofa friend says that “it strikes a chord in the feelings of the Tongan public.”

So we publish it, exactly as it is writ ten —first, to cheer up the Tongan pub lic; and, secondly, as a horrible warn ing to young writers: Oh, people of Tonga! I’ll stand it no longer, Though ’tis a sad story and woeful to ponder.

In accents true and clear, I’ll shout so you can hear, What befell our fine bananas this most distress ing year.

Our Government said with the usual savoir faire.

Plant plenty bananas on your land so bare.

Impecunious Tongans and poor Europeans may Thereby watch their coffers filling day by day.

I rhymed and reasoned with the birds in charge, But they into bloomers continued to barge.

From four bob to two bob, then one and a part Thus the price dropped, and with it my heart.

But now comes the blow, triumphant aglow— I stagger, I reel, and my thinking grows slow!

The Consular Agent, with extremely bad grace.

Says, “Vive des anas I at a shilling a case.”

If the metre’s bad—then so’s the verse.

If you deem it rotten—then I think it worse.

But the story fits the facts —and not the rhyme, So for what it thus lacks—reader, your pardon this time! * * * ACCORDING to the Convention be tween Britain and France, under which that weird administrative ar rangement known as the Condominium of the New Hebrides is carried on, the King of Spain—as a presumably dis interested party—nominates the presi dent of the Joint Court and the Public Prosecutor. The Court has been func tioning very leisurely for some years under the presidency of Count de Buena Esperanza; but that charming Spanish nobleman left for Europe a few months ago, and it is reported that he will not return. The question now arises: How will his place be filled? There is now no King of Spain. Alfonso—according to news-films recently screened in Syd ney—is at present enjoying himself very happily in Paris, while a Republi can Government, strongly flavoured with Communism, is in charge of affairs in ancient Madrid. The Presi dent of Spain, no doubt, is prepared to undertake all the duties which formerly devolved upon his Majesty; but whether France and Britain are prepared to leave the nomination of a judge to a gentleman whose political colour ap proximates to scarlet remains to be seen. * * * A TYPOGRAPHICAL error, in our is sue of February, in an article en titled, “The Metropolis of the South Seas,” made it appear that the annual revenue of Suva municipality is “close on £4,500.” This was obviously ridicu lous —the amount should have been £45,000. The Suva Council’s estimated revenue for 1932 is £43,724. * * * THE Australian newspapers missed a remarkable news story the other day, when a case weighing three quarters of a ton was posted as a par cel in Adelaide and delivered O.K. by the Post Office in Sydney a couple of days later. The series of events started

in New Guinea where, for some reason, there was extraordinary mortality among the landing-wheels on the big aeroplanes with which Guinea Airways Ltd. maintain the famous goldfields service. Wheel after wheel collapsed, until it appeared as if the fleet would be crippled. A consignment of wheels was en route from Europe to Sydney: but it did not seem possible that it could connect with the Burns, Philp steamer about to leave for New Guinea.

The problem was handed to the Com pany’s Sydney agent, Mr. W. E. Goff, and that dynamic person became very busy. Between Fremantle and Ade laide, a case of four wheels was dug out of cargo and brought on deck; at Adelaide the postal authorities agreed to accept the case, for immediate trans mission, at parcel post rates; and it left immediately by train for Sydney in charge of a grim and suspicious Cus toms official. The porters at Albury, where postal matter is transferred from one railway system to the other, nearly fainted when they saw the “parcel,” but it was duly shifted. Ar rangements had been made to delay the steamer, if necessary; but the case of wheels was actually put aboard two hours before sailing time. Nothing would induce Mr. Goff to disclose the amount of the postage. “The wheels were needed—and Guinea Airways keeps faith with its people,” is how the matter was summed up. * * * OUR Solomon Islands correspondent (who, presumably, is also a tax payer) is bitter: “Old Fiji-ites may shed a tear when they learn that the ‘dashing’ Govern ment yacht Ranadi —which they neatly pushed off on to us some years ago— has turned up her toes and sunk by the stern in 25 fathoms of water; but there is no one here sorry to see the end of this financial nightmare. She had lain at her anchorage in Ellis Bay, Tulagi, for years, and whenever anyone who lacked manners and morals wanted a ringbolt or a porthole or two, he went along to Ellis Bay and helped himself.

Maybe, somewhere—perhaps in Fiji! she had friends; but Tulagi’s sad tax payers hated the poor old thing and not a soul breathed a lament when she sighed and suicided.” * * * A FACETIOUS resident of the British Solomon Islands sends this para graph. Emphatically, we do not vouch for the truth of it: Enforced economy obliges most of our Government officials who travel among the islands to do their own navi gating. Some of them are happy in the responsibility—some are not. One of them has displayed genius in protect ing himself against accident when out of sight of land. He takes with him on his voyages his little Irish terrier.

“Paddy” quickly recognises his respon sibility, and takes up his position in the bow of the vessel. He points an anxious nose landwards and sniffs vigorously.

The navigator says that the rest is easy.

Our correspondent says that this is a variation of the system followed by the famous “dog-barking skippers,” who

reckoned their position among the Is lands at night by attuning - their ears to the varying vocal efforts of the village mongrels!

A RATHER unfortunate impression was created by the following news item, published in Sydney Morning Herald on April 23: SUVA, April 9.—Every gaol in Fiji is filled with natives, who have failed to pay their an nual taxes. As they have no means of doing so, orders have been issued to revise the sen tences.

This may be literally true; but, with out some recitation of the attendant circumstances, it suggests that the Crown Colony of Fiji is in a pretty bad way. Even if a country is feeling the pinch severely, there is no need to blazon the fact-national credit is a sensitive thing, as the ineffable Mr.

Lang has shown. There is no country in the world in a sounder position, economically, than is Fiji; and that is the fact that Fiji should advertise as widely as possible. * * * ADVICE has been received that the samples of tobacco sent from Papua to England in February were priced, according to their grades, at 2/10, 3/-2 and 3/6 per lb. Further tobacco planting is in progress in the Territory. The position is described in an article on another page.