Tropicalities

Agazine Section

Do Not Disturb

NE of the funny stories of Mr.

Barry Philp (Hotel Mocambo, Nadi), told to illustrate the dif ilties of hotelkeeping in Fiji: t was 8 a.m. at the reception desk; I a very irate guest was demand to be told why he had not been led at 5.30 a.m., so he could make ilane connection, which he had sed. he Fijian boy on night duty ex ined, carefully and very politely: went to call you, sar; but you e asleep,”

Beating Bureaucracy

I a gathering at Usher’s Blue Room, on February 1 (see PIM, Feb.), when Mr. Len Kirkby, ney manufacturer, proposed the Ith of Mr. Alec Haworth, director Robert Gillespie Pty. Ltd., who to leave for Tahiti on retire it, he surprised Mr. Haworth’s ness friends by bringing to light sides of the latter’s character it which they knew little, ne was that he had been an rnationally-famous art appraiser ire coming to Australia from UK the 1930’5; and the other that gallant military record entitled to wear the ribbons of the ) and MC. lese and other tributes brought response from Mr. Haworth • he had always tried to deal y and squarely with clients and chants alike, but that he had one occasion done a bit of lie-dealing. It was this way: obert Gillespie Pty. Ltd., like iy other firms, was struggling g during the war years, hog and hampered by miles of red and a hundred different “con- A valued customer in Suva a request that, come hell or water, he had to have two s of brassieres by the next ship. )w, that necessary article of nine attire had a small strip lastic across the back, where it ms; and an Australian war control prohibited the export ibber—all rubber, up to and fil ing elastic in clothing, an’t you see, that that inch or of elastic strap contains rubber,” haughtily told Mr. Haworth, illations are regulations, so you can’t send them.” tiat to do? Mr. Haworth re -3d on the subject of brassieres, aally, he sent up another appli

cation to the authorities by a flat chested young office girl, and her request for an export permit for shipment to Suva excited no com ment. Visualising a series of neat, round net doilies edged with coloured beads, the Customs clerk banged down his rubber-stamp. And away went the brassieres The application had carried the simple description: “288 Milk Covers!”

The Mail Must Go Through

I WAS speculating on the means by which PlM’s Christmas card came. First, a mechanical sorter I suppose, then a modern aircraft to Lae and a not-so-modern DCS.

Probably then an inter-island ship to Sohano and (last scene of all) a two-man canoe brings a savage in serge topped by a black beret (the police mail runner).

He presents a damp mail bag which you untie and extract there from your mail, re-tie it and hand back to said runner. He looks at the weather and opines that he will be lucky to get to the end of his coastal trip without being upset.

“Dis bloody kanu, too bloody small,” —quotes he and spurns it with his foot! However, he finally girds up his loins and steps into the canoe, muttering that he must be off and that a policeman’s lot is NOT a happy one!

Last heard of him as he clears the beach is his command to the two canoeists: “You two fela blanks must pull strong now. No good big rain find im me fela. Makim savi now!”

We are greatly shocked by this outburst but gather up the mail and go back to the house to read it.

F.P.A.

Oh, For The Peace Of

Paradise!

LIFE gets more and more com plicated in a big city, therefore it is pleasant to read of a society where direct action can sometimes still get direct results.

I was intrigued by the following message which appeared in a pre- Christmas issue of the Daily News, circulated in Nukualofa, Tonga: In accordance with the powers vested in him by Section 81 (1) and (2), Acting Minister of Police would like to see all drivers of motor vehicles licensed to carry passengers and who are holders of Liquor Permits, at his office at 2 p.m. on Tuesday, December 18.

What I would like to know is: Was a word to the wise sufficient?

The above notice was followed by this -even more intriguing admon ition : As the Christmas season draws near, the public is once again reminded of the pro visions of Section 3 (17), (18) and (19) of Chapter 35 of the Laws of Tonga, 1928, and Section 6 of the Act No. 10/1953 in which shouting, beating any drum, tin or tank without just cause, making any loud noise, singing on a truck, playing any musical instrument in any public way are strictly forbidden. The Police are empowered to arrest, without a warrant, offenders under these Sections.

It sounds like that thing the Americans label Paradise. But what I’d like to know is whether the Police really enforced the prohibi tions. In spite of the fable to the contrary, a Pacific island can be one of the noisiest places on earth.

Different noises from those you en counter in the Big City. But still

noises.

J.

Law Enforcement In

Paradise

EVEN on Palmerston atoll, one of the most self-sufficient and un spoiled islands in the Cook Group, disputes and squabbles some times break out among the 80 inhabitants, and now, for the first time in the history of the atoll and the Marsters clan, a member cf the community has been appointed Commissioner of the Cook Island Court.

The honour goes to Ned Marsters (pictured), the white-b ear d e d patriarch who for years has been Palmerston’s unofficial Resident Agent and the recognised head of the three Marsters families.

Palmerston has now been given a proper court and .legal procedure, and Ned will be assisted in main taining law and order by three honorary policemen, each repre senting one of the families.

The policemen, Bob Marsters, Tutai Marsters, and John Dick Marsters, although unpaid, have the same powers as regular Cook Islands policemen. There is no jail at Palmerston but it seems unlikely that fines will prove inadequate punishment for future offences.