Tropicalities

Cold Comfort

THE very cold “winter” we experienced in the Cook Is lands this year was not with out its hilarious side.

Those who had Makatea blankets, the relics of a past prosperity, got them out of sea-chests and were snug. The unfortunate ones with out, resorted to copra-bags, old Army greatcoats, and similar ersatz, with more or less satisfactory re sults.

But old Mori had only a sack, and complained to the AMP of being cold, among other ills due to anno domini. He mentioned that he “had a hot-water-bottle” (some islanders amazingly, possess these articles) but didn’t quite know how to manage it.

The medico told him to just fill it with hot-water, and put it in the bed.

Later, Old Mori returned, more full of cramns and coughs than be fore. The HWB, said he, had been entirely ineffective. He was told to try again, with the hottest water available.

When the ancient came back the second time unrelieved, the Doc. iecided to look into the matter. So le went with Old Mori to his hut. [he hot-water-bottle, that had jeen totally unsuccessful in creating :alories, was produced.

It was a battered and ancient fhermos flask! —ETI.

Xmas Will Be Early This

Year

PIHRISTMAS is likely to be 10 U days early this year in the Chatham Islands, 500 miles ast of NZ, because that is the day m which the TEAL Solent will tiake its pre-Christmas flight.

During the southern summer, ?EAL services this lonely group on

. fairly regular schedule).

It has been decided to make De ember 15 something to remember bis year in the Chatham Islands -the Solent will carry to the chil ren of the islands, a Christmas ree, Santa Claus and gifts includ ig ice-cream, sweets, balloons and rtiat-not. all provided by NZ firms.

The children will travel by horse ack or boat (there are no roads in he usual sense) to Te Whanga .agoon where the Solent lands.

Everything is organised to make bis the biggest thing in the Chat ham Islands calendar. Only one bing has been left to chance—and bat is the weather which can be ile in the wind-blown Chathams.

General Post—Fiji Fashion

WHEN the Acting Governor of Fiji (Mr. A. F. R. Stoddart) returned from the South Pacific Commission’s eighth session at Noumea (which he attended as Senior United Kingdom Commis sioner), he added one of Fiji’s periodical and bewildering moves round in high places.

His Excellency became Acting Governor when the retiring Gover nor (Sir Brian Freeston) left; and the Financial Secretary (Mr. R. M.

Taylor) moved into Mr. Stoddart’s place as Acting Colonial Secretary.

And when the Acting Governor goes away, everybody moves up again accordingly. But Mr. Taylor does not become Acting-Acting Governor. He becomes Governor’s Deputy and is referred to not as his Excellency, but as his Honour.

And, until the separation of the two administrations comes into force, the same thing happens, on a smaller scale, in the Western Pacific High Commission. (If it were not for fear of lese-majeste, the irreverent might recall the moves-round at a certain tea-party attended by Alice while in Wonder land).

TURN RIGHT . . . YOU CAN’T

Miss It

Prior to the last war, the world wondered at a whimsical aviator by the name of Corrigan. It will be remembered that he set off from New York to fly to California. He landed in Ireland, in the totally opposite direction. The press dubbed him “Wrong Way” Corrigan. He claimed his compass was reading back to front.

We have a dusky “Wrong Way”

Corrigan here in Santo, or I should say, he WAS in Santo. He is now in the Solomons.

In charge of a French-owned small ship with a crew of boys, this native set sail for Pentecost Island.

When you leave Santo for Pente cost, you bear right. To get to the Solomons, you take a sharp turn left. Some folks say that his com pass was on the blink but other reports say the ship experienced engine trouble. No matter what the cause, it was a remarkable bit of work, whichever way you care to look at it.—Vernon Wheatley.

It Just Wouldn’T Do, In Fiji!

“Introducing the British Pacific Islands,” the latest of a series of lavishly-illustrated booklets pub

lished by the British Government’s Central Office of Information for the Colonial Office, made its appearance in London in early November.

The booklets are official and anonymous and most of them have been written by Government people in the various colonies concerned.

The Pacific Islands volume, how ever, was written by a non-official journalist, Mr. J. K. Stone, of Suva.

Although officially complimented on the job, the writer was aghast on sighting the near-lyrical advance

“blurb” about the booklet. Some body in London, summarising the highlights, had produced a clear suggestion that Pidgin English is spoken in the copra districts of Fiji, In the interests of brevity the London publicist had lumped Fiji, the Solomons and the New Hebrides together . . . Somehow the idea of the European planters of Taveuni running about talking Pidgin to one another is both delightful and terrifying. (In the booklet Pidgin in the Western islands is described as “a dreadful compromise”).