No Illusions Left
p. 66 · Read in the full issue
By Vernon Wheatley
AWAY from the political arena, we Islanders receive all ouk* political material second-hand, either by newspaper or via the radio.
Many think that this is a very good thing. One can always light the fire with the newspaper and we can adjust the radio.
But in spite of all our care, some in telligible sounds came to our ears. We find that several puzzling questions have been answered—and we have no illusions left. Carefully collected data is given below.
QUESTION: What is political propa ganda?
ANSWER: Anything favourable to the party it suits.
QUESTION: X, heated by the trials and tribulations of an intensive cam paign, called candidate Y a swindler, a
liar, a cad, and an oppressor of the poor.
How did Y reply?
ANSWER? By calling X a common swindler, an unmitigated liar, an un principled liar, a bare-faced cad and a dog-robber.
QUESTION: Candidate O guaranteed all persons over 60 £l2 per month. Can didate P promised £l4 to all over fifty.
Candidate Q promised £l6, plus free burial for all over forty. Candidate R promised precisely nil. How many votes did R receive?
ANSWER: Four. He was married— and two of his electors were hopelessly intoxicated.
QUESTION; Candidate U had a pleas ing personality and a cultivated “tooth paste ad.” smile. Candidate V had a soothing and wonderfully persuasive radio voice. Candidate W promised the world and a bit more. Who was elected?
ANSWER: 'Candidate “Honest John T,” who lied and lied with a touch of genius. He also had the snappiest fleet of cars at his disposal and bought the most free beer for the down-trodden worker.
QUESTION: (a) What is a Socialist Candidate? (b) What is a candidate who opposes Socialism.
ANSWER: (a) One who is prepared to stand by the people 100 per cent, (b) One who is prepared to stand by the people 100 per cent.
So now you know why we have no illusions left.
The Rev. Stewart Jurse, of the Presby terian church, Noumea, New Caledonia arrived in Sydney by plane, seriously ill, on September 25. He was transferred at once to a plane for Melbourne, where he will receive specialist attention.