Alice In Canberra

(With the thanks of a Territorian to Lewis Carroll for the inspiration of his “Wonderland” child)

ALICE stepped from her Magic Plane at Canberra, and was directed to Par liament House. She entered, and was shown to the office of the Minister for External Territories.

“I’ve brought a press cutting dealing with Papuan natives,” she said to the Minister. “I’d like to discuss it with you.

My dad in London will be most interested to learn what Australia is doing about these natives, and about the former white residents of New Guinea.”

“A remarkable coincidence!” smiled the Minister. “I’m just working out a scheme in which I will be arranging with the local Communists to produce a newspaper for the natives. The Communists are ever-read^ 7 to oblige in such matters, you know, and we of the Government will see that they get plenty of newsprint paper!”

“H’m!” said Alice, doubtfully. “But about this press cutting. It says here that you are appointing a Committee to decide war compensation for natives of Papua and New Guinea. Will these natives be paid only for actual war damage, or will they be the victims of the ‘consequential damage’ racket, as the white residents were?”

THE Minister looked sternly at Alice.

“My dear child ” he began.

But Alice interrupted him: “If the ‘con sequential damage’ idea is not applied to them, why is it being applied to white people? And another thing: I notice that you are appointing a Melbourne barrister to this Committee. Has he had any spe cial experience in village matters in New Guinea? I mean, could he assess truly the value, say, of a requisitioned canoe, or a damaged native house, or a lost arnh shell which had been a valued heirloom in the family of some native?”

“Really, child, you can’t be expected to understand these legal matters. The legal mind ”

“Would he be expert in gauging the value of a native garden, or the dam aged fence round that garden? You see, my dad in London is bound to be suspici ous when he learns that a barrister with apparently no Islands experience is to be appointed assessor. He will say there’s a trick in it somewhere!”

THE Minister gasped. “Great heavens, child, you talk like a New Guinea evacuee who has lost everything, and has the hardihood to criticise ”

“My dad. and possibly even Mr. Chur,chill, will do the criticising, I fancy, later on!” cried Alice, spiritedly. “Mr. Chur chill is not the man to make the definite promises he has made in his speeches, and then knowingly allow them to be broken by Communistically-minded Gov ernments in any part of the British Empire!”

Even the Minister’s remarkable “gift of the gab” was silenced by the Wonder child’s flow of heated words, as she went on, like Joan of Arc, and Boadicea, Florence Nightingale rolled into one.

“Have you an ulterior reason for not appointing to your new Committees some oi the men wno have spent half a life time livim in New Guinea; men who know the native mentality, and fully understand native values? I see you are including an officer of ANGAU on the Committee. If he is an old and experi enced man who knows the varying condi tions in the varying tribes and villages, I suppose he is OK. But why have you also appointed an anthropologist to this Committee?”

The Minister managed to get in a word. “The study of natives ”

Alice broke in impatiently. “Do you seriously mean to tell me that this man s possible knowledge of dinerent kinds 01 tattooing, or varied styles of native dancing, or the shape of different heaas and jawbones amongst natives, will enable him to form a reliable estimate of compensation to be paid for the loss of, say, a grass-thatched house; a house, too, which he probably has only seen in pictures or heard described in lectures at the University?”

“Where did you learn all this, child?” asked the Minister.

“I know more about Papua and New Guinea than you do,” retorted Alice, “because I have listened to experienced men and women who lived there for years. I gave them a hearing, which is more than you do!

“They had the guts to take all the risks of the country when it was semi wild; you flew over it for three weeks, and saw it under abnormal conditions, and now you have the effrontery to make new laws to govern the country! What do you. or any of these Canberra men, know about it, anyway? Wait until my dad hears tfhat I shall have to tell him when I get back, about your precious External Territories Department and your ANGAU and your Committees of anthro pologists and whatnot. He’ll blister you with words, if I know him!”

“JF your father dares ” began the

J. Minister.

“Dad’s a Londoner, and Londoners have a way of daring things; you won’t bluff him too easily, believe me! Can you give me one honest and valid reason why white residents have not been allowed to return to their homes in Papua? You don’t need to answer; the whole world already knows it is just a political stunt to further the ideas and theories of a one-sided political party, which apparently believes that it is a

crime for any decent man to own any thing !

“Despite Mr. Churchill’s promises, you are forcing these one-sided ideas and political stunts on the residents, irrespec tive of whether they want them or not, and irrespective, too, of whether the natives want them. The whole thing is the antithesis of what Mr. Churchill

promised, that all peoples should choose their own form of government. Your alleged Democracy is a shameful thing; it isn’t Democracy at all!”

Alice was so incensed, tllat she wouldn’t even say “Good-morning” as she flounced out of the office to her Magic Plane.—AW. ! - ■ Europeans throughout the Central Pacific have extended their sympathy to Mr. R. D. Blandy, British Resident Com missioner in the New Hebrides, whose son, aged 22, was killed in war operations in Europe in July last.

Mr. Read/ a well known and esteemed resident of Port Vila, died there in July, aged 63. He arrived in the New Hebrides in 1903. He fought in the Transvaal War, and won a military decoration.