Listen-In On The Axis!
pp. 5-6 · Read in the full issue
ALL our arm-chair strategists insist on being gloomy and solemn, and discussing prospects from the view point of the Allies. But there is another viewpoint—the viewpoint of the enemy— and if we can see his situation a little more clearly we may find more comfort in our own.
So let us—without being wishful thinkers or stupid optimists—imagine that we are listening-in on a radiophone conversation, in which Adolf Hitler is discussing the general situation with General Tojo, and in which a Ghost Voice persistently interrupts.
HITLER: Marvellous, my brother! So you now hold Philippines, Borneo, Indo-China, Thailand, Malaya, East Indies, New Guinea and part of Burma.
What a man! What a nation!
TOJO (complacently): Yes, and we have sunk half the British fleet, and the rest flee before the Sons of Heaven.
HITLER; Not half the fleet, Tojo— not half. There seem to be an awful lot of British warships around this way.
They are annoying poor Benito in the Mediterranean, too.
Ghost Voice: Seen anything of the American fleet lately? I seem to have heard that America has a few ships in the Pacific.
TOJO: The American navy fears us, Adolf —they hide their ships away in dis tant ports. We ignore them.
HITLER; But, Tojo—l don’t want to worry you—but didn’t America come into the war with a bigger navy than yours?
You got a few of theirs at Pearl Harbour, but they have got a few of yours since then. And this big naval force you have
over in the Indian Ocean. Aren’t you taking a bit of a risk, old fellow. Sup posing that Yank navy decides to have a crack at you in Japanese waters, eh?
TOJO: The Americans fear us, Adolf.
They hide.
Ghost Voice: The Americans with hold their naval forces until they can attack with the aid of overwhelming air forces. Then what?
HITLER: H’m—l don’t like it much, Tojo—seems to me you’ve scattered your fleet very widely. Anyhow, your econo mic condition is much better, now, eh .
TOJO: The Sons of Heaven now have rice and mineral oil, tin and rubber and copra. have sent thousands of our young men into our new territories, to organise supplies and ship them to Japan.
Ghost Voice: And does it ever occur to you that, in reaching out after all these territories, you aban doned the primary advantage you enjoyed—that of isolation in your island home? Your lines of com munication and organisation are spread out over thousands of miles of ocean. How are you going to pro tect them when the American offensive comes?
HITLER (sadly): Well, I wish I had some of your rubber and tin and oil, Tojo. By the way, how are your oil supplies?
TOJO: We can keep going for a while, yet. And now we have the Borneo and Indies oil wells. Ghost Voice: Can you get the oil wells restored and in production be fore the Americans strike? If not, you’re gone.
TOJO: By the way, how’s your fuel supply, Adolf.
HITLER: We still have much good mineral oil, and we have an endless supply of ersatz fuel, for our aeroplanes and tanks.
Ghost Voice: You haven’t got much petrol left novo, and your synthetic fuels do not give you anything like the same efficiency. And the British bombers are reaching further and further into Germany and smashing up your fuel factories.
TOJO; But soon you will have smashed the Russians, Adolf, and then you will have the Caucasus oilfields.
HITLER: Yes, yes, of course. Our glorious Nordics soon will stamp these Bolsheviks into the filth of their eastern front.
Ghost Voice: You were going to smash the Russians last summer. You cannot smash them now. You will need all your strength even to hold them. And even if you drive them back, they will retire unbroken, and come at you again.
TOJO: Oh, and Adolf, please, you will keep Russia very, very busy for me, please. While my glorious forces are sweeping through the South Seas and India, I do not wish to be bothered by Russia, yes?
HITLER: Well, old lad, I thought maybe you could give me a spot of help there. If you were to nip the Bear in the backside, from Manchuria, say, it would make it easier for me to push him back in Europe.
TOJO: Don’t be selfish, Adolf. The magnificent armies of Germany and Italy surely can keep the Bolsheviks engaged, while the Sons of Heaven complete the rout of the British and Americans.
HITLER; Of course, of course, Tojo.
TOJO: These British—are they going to attack you while you are busy with the Bolsheviks?
HITLER: Ach, the swine-dogs! Our guns will keep them off our western shores, and they will run always from our gallant Luftwaffe.
Ghost Voice: Britain now has a magnificently equipped army of over one million men in Britain, apart from forces necessary to resist in vasion. What is she going to do with it?
TOJO: But, dear Adolf, how many divisions would you be able to spare for the western front if the British, with perhaps some Americans, attacked you while you were fighting the Russians?
HITLER: Our noble Nordic armies are quite able to defeat both the British and the Russians. Don’t worry about that— we have friends at our side —Hungarians and Roumanians and Bulgarians, yes.
Ghost Voice: And Italians!
TOJO: And our dear Mussolini —he must be a great comfort to you in these difficult days, Adolf.
HITLER (after strange noises of gut turals and sibilants): Benito is resting.
He is not very well. The Italian armies —they are resting a good deal, too. And the Italian navy and air force —it needs much rest. We are fond of the Italians —we have sent many men to assist them in the government of Italy.
TOJO: Ah, well, you have many friends. The countries you now have occupied for two years—they, of course, now recognise the happiness of life under our New Order. You now have the help of the Norwegians and Danes, Dutch and Belgians, Poles and Czechs, French and Serbs and Greeks—how grateful they all must be to you, Fuhrer!
Ghost Voice: How long can 150,000,000 people be held down under conditions of slavery, starvation and pestilence? Let but the grip of the Hun be shaken off by the Allies, and they will be at his throat!
HITLER: The pig-dogs do not know when they are well and happy. They plot ceaselessly against our gauleiters and shoot our brave German sentries.
But they will learn that we are the master race and it is our mission to bring a New Order to humanity.
TOJO: Yes, indeed. Honourable Nor dic and divinely-inspired Japanese go forward together to the task set by Heaven. * HITLER: Yes-er-yes, of course. We must learn to know each other better Tojo ? when do we meet Y° u in India, TOJO: Our invincible legions alreadv march upon India’s eastern frontier. Our fleet menaces India’s shores. India’s masses rise to welcome our freedom giving banner. The British flee before our irresistible advance. e Ghost Voice: And now take a look f? map. How can any except the most simple and ingenuous minds ST thc fP lt is possible to hold fn nnht? 9 }] ne t °f nd vast territories, bp mtal ar su PPttes must eorted from Japan, unless the American fleet is eliminated, and the 130 O Z no S nm m ° Si P° wer f ul nation of dlfeatedf ramiy-arm People aejeated/ The Americans haven’t even began to fight yet.
We shall salute each other Swastika. e ‘ hl ’ Under the tri «mphant Ghost Voice: Perhaps! But Von must smash (not merely drive back) the Russians. Then you must
march into the Middle East. Then you must over-run or by-pass Turkey ~and the Turks won’t like that. Then you must defeat the British armies in the Middle East. Then you must march across Iraq and Iran. Mean while, you will have to deal with a very strong and belligerent Britain, on your western front, and hold down 150,000,000 subject people.
TOJO; Not under the Swastika, Adolf —under the Rising Sun. This is our show, you know.
HITLER: But Germany is the ruler of the world. Anyway, I’ll see you about that later. How many planes have you got, Tojo?
TOJO: Oh, enough. How many have you got, Adolf?
Ghost Voice: Britain now is build ing as many aeroplanes as Germany.
United States is building as many as Germany, Italy and Japan com bined. Russia’s output is little short of that of Germany. Cannot you planners of high strategy see that this war is going to be decided by air power, and that the Allies are with holding their forces until they can make effective use of their coming overwhelming preponderance in the air? Don’t you know that already the Axis air personnel is nearly ex hausted, while in Great Britain and United States, to say nothing of Russia, there is now an apparently endless stream of well-equipped young airmen coming along, merely awaiting machines?
HITLER: Our gallant Luftwaffe will fight on and on. The Nordic race must conquer. It is written—l have planned it for 25 years. And I, Hitler, the great Fuhrer, will see that Japan has her rightful place in Eastern Asia, TOJO (apparently having difficulty in breathing); You will? Why, don’t you realise that Japan has been divinely ap pointed—by the Son of Heaven, no less— to lead the world into better ways? This mighty, invincible, all-conquering Japan will graciously permit you to bring the benefits of the New Order to Europe, maybe; but all Asia, and Eastern and South Africa, and Australia, and all the Pacific Islands, and South America— they belong to Japan by right of superior will, a superior intelligence and a better sword. (There is the horrid sound of a strong man choking and swooning. Hitler has met his match.) The Ghost Voice: Germany still has tremendous strength, but she has been gravely weakened by exhaust ing months on the Russian front, and may not be able to maintain a two fronts campaign. Japan has enjoyed a long series of successes, and no defeats; but she has not yet met a strong opponent—she only has de feated small isolated armies of Europeans, ill-equipped and vastly out-numbered. Italy is discouraged and weary of the war—she is not a formidable opponent. On the other side, there are America, only be ginning to develop her unlimited war strength; Britain, now stronger and better armed and animated by a stauncher war spirit than ever before in her history; Russia, her incredible man-power mobilised, her industrial organisation functioning well, and her morale apparently high; and China, depending on her Allies for equipment, but with unlimited man power, and eager for war and the humiliation of her age-long foe. Let the Allies be patient and staunch, and the issue is beyond doubt.