The Magistrate's "If"

(A resident of Papua writes: —“The enclosed was written magistrate for' his own interest and amusement. He did not intend to publish it, but I persuaded him to allow me to send it to you, as I thought it was too good to be lost.’’) (With abject apologies to Rudyard Kipling) IF you can hold your own with any tradesman, ' And use his tools as well as he can do: If you can hike, and build, and read your law books, Be prosecutor, judge and jury, too: If you can fight with scores of howling tribesmen And never turn a hair when things look tight.

And both yourself and native police are flagging From lack of sleep through marching day and night: If you can take an arrow in the gizzard And still direct the movements of your men; Then find the man who put the arrow through you And bring him in and dump him in the pen: If you can take a licking from attackers.

And then return again and ask for more; If you can carry on through mud and rainstorm With body aching, weary, bent and sore: If you can be an expert rubber-planter— Or coconuts —or as the case may be; Or build a house, a bridge, a gaol or whaleboat.

Hold court, patrol, and ne’er go on a spree: If you can live on rice and sweet potatoes And count each meal a “Steak from Usher’s Grill” ; If you can starve and still go on patrolling.

And smile while going through the ruddy mill: If you can hear the endless petty troubles “Brown Brother” brings in to you every day.

And still retain a decent sense of humour.

And laugh and work—and do without your • play: If you can bear the satire of the critics.

And wise-cracks of the “Anti-Guv’ment” bunch Without the loss of dignity or temper.

And take each crack as others take their lunch; If you can do your job with both your hands tied Metaphorically, with Ords., and Regs., and Rules; If you can master all that comes before you And make the other fellows look the fools: If you can, grin when, after weeks of hardships.

You get your man and bring him to the court.

He’s told to come for sentence when he’s called on And all your work appears to go for nought: If you can burn the “Great Official Candle”

At both ends and in the middle too.

And still find time to live as normal beings Should live, and normal lives pursue: If you can be a nursemaid to a nigger And guide him on to something good and great, Yours is “New Guin’ ”, and everything that’s in it; And, what more . . . you’ll be a Magistrate!

Mr. T. L. McAdam, District Officer at Kavieng, N.G., arrived in Sydney by the Macdhui on November 7, en route to Perth where he will spend three months’

furlough.

The engagement was announced early

in November of Miss Evelyn Jean Sim, only daughter of Mr. and Mrs. James Sim, of Wana Wana, 8.5.1., and Mr.

Percival Frederick Wilson, of Roseville,

Sydney.

Mr. W. Watson, who has been engaged

in mining activities in New Guinea,

reached Sydney en route to Europe early in November. Later he will visit the

United States.