Vegetable On The Side

A NATIVE had disappeared in the Am brym hills and none had seen him go.

“Clearly a case of ‘walk about’ ” said the hillmen of his district.

But in the minds of some of the more enlightened and law-abiding salt-water men there grew a shrewd suspicion that things were not as they seemed. Bearing in mind the widespread amours and general rambuctiousness of the missing one, these suspicions appeared to have some foundation. The gentleman’s ac tivities had had no endearing effect on the local husbands and near-husbands.

Moreover, he had been a big hefty brute, most difficult to handle. All things con sidered, the general opinion inclined to the advisability of letting sleeping dogs lie.

But certain enlightened ones, led by a really courageous native teacher, quietly commenced to pry about, asking guarded questions of young boys and girls who, it was possible, had overheard stray re marks.

After some months of careful investi gation, the teacher and his gang collected a mass of evidence pointing to murder; and, eventually, a man was found who declared that he knew where the remains had been buried, in a lonely and unfre quented part of the bush.

Now things really began to move. All that was necessary, of course, was to pro duce the body. So off marched a disin terment party armed with sundry yam spades and like implements and, led by the informer, the grave was found. The searchers were surprised to see that the ground had been recently disturbed.

Nevertheless, they proceeded with their job, digging furiously- Soon it began to dawn that although they had dug an enormous hole they had unearthed no evidence. Obviously, the criminals, becoming alarmed by the in quiries, had removed the remains. Al most, it was decided to give up the busi ness and go home, when someone noticed a small bone among the excavated soil and a frantic search disclosed quite a number of small bones, much discoloured, but in fair condition, and certainly human. Two old salmon tins full were

recovered and the party marched trium phantly back to the coast. One tin was handed to the padre, with a request to place the matter before the government- The other tin was presented to me, with a like request. I hastily disclaimed all desire to have any dealings with that grisly-looking tin, and suggested that, as the padre had the other tin, it was but right that he should have the lot; since without doubt, two things are better than one—unless it be twins, or such-like cala mities. So far as I was concerned, the whole matter seemed to be closed.

Some days later, when all pretext that the missing man had simply “gone walk about” had been dropped, an old bush man came to see me, and asked if I had heard all that had occurred and that the murderers were known. I assured him that I knew all about it and, more over, had viewed some of the spare parts.

Then ensued a long pause. Presently, my visitor resumed: “Masta, all ’e Kai- Kai ’im.” Another pause. Then, with indescribable gusto: “Wid ’em ta-a-a-ro!”

Marooned.

EDITORIAL NOTE.—We have so many readers now in countries where Pidgin is not known that, perhaps, we should explain that what the old bushman said was; “Master, they killed and ate him (pause) and they cooked and ate taro (the staple Islands vegetable) with him, as part of the meal.”