“Pandemonium” Farce

Day’s Amusing Experiences In Vila — Interesting Theory To Explain Britain’s Position In New Hebrides.

By R. W. Robson

THEY call it the “Pandemonium Govern ment”; and it is surely one of the quaintest and queerest administrations in the world.

Those who live-in the New Hebrides revile the Condominium. Those who visit the place, jeer at it. Surely, they say, here is historic evidence of the stupidity and stubbornness of John Bull and Jean Crapaud. Surely say the serious-mind ed, the Governments of two great nations can get together in a spirit of compromise, and put an end to this thing that perches so ludicrously on the shores of beautiful Vila Harbour.

Two kinds of police—French and Bri tish —parade solemnly along the beach, ignoring each other’s presence, but poun cing with great ferocity upon any poor roysterer who raises his voice in song. If he sings in French, the French police march him away to the lock-up; if his bibulous outburst be in English, the Bri tish police, thanking God for a break in the monotony, put an efficient half-nelson on him, and take him away to face a charge of drunk and disorderly.

On Efate, behind Vila, there are now many miles of roads. So there are a few score motor-cars and lorries. If the owner is British, the registration is British, and the driver keeps to the left, as is British and proper. If the owner is French, he goes on the French register, and the driver may keep to the right, according to the rule of the road in all the dominions of France. When a British car meets a French car, it is a trifle difficult: but they do not worry about little things like that, in the Condominium.

THE officials employed by the Con domijnium have an interesting life.

There is no boredom. If an official finds himself with nothing to do, he gets the latest tables of currency exchange, and tries to figure out his income. It is very exciting. Officials are paid half their salaries in French currency, and half in English sterling.

When the Condominium was created, Britain and Prince were on the gold standard, and apparently for eternity. But, in the following quarter-century, much world-history was made. For a time, Bri tish currency was tied to gold, and the franc was “wild.” Then the franc was stabilised with gold, and sterling went see sawing. These matters can be adjusted more or less simply, as between French and British territories; but in the Con dominium, where the two currencies march side by side in the one country, the wretch ed Treasury officials spent days and years on the edge of the madhouse. It was bad

enough to try to balance the Condominium budget, with currency values hopping about like insane kangaroos; but think of the mental condition of the New Heb rides Customs official who was trying to figure out Customs duties in two languages and three mad currencies!

For there is a third, and very disturbing factor in this Condominium finance. A bas l'Australie! Australian interests are very strong in the group; much trade is done with Australia; and, while the pound sterl ing is jumping about in relation to the franc, the pound Australian is ignoring both, and jumping about on its own ac count. Is it any wonder that the French official, who likes a quiet, peaceful life in the tropics, bares his teeth and reaches for his trusty stiletto whenever he meets an Australian in the streets of Vila!

The men of the Condominium, in an effort to get something stable in then chaotic world, fixed the exchange between the franc and sterling at 124 francs to the English £. That was several years ago, when both Britain and Prance were on

gold, and after the franc had been stabi lised. Australia, also, was then on gold: and, for a week or two, everything was very well. In recent times, Britain has gone off gold, while Australia is away from both gold and sterling. But, for purposes of currency adjustment between British and French official interests in the Con dominium, the exchange rate remains fixed surprisingly at 124 francs to the £ sterling.

Now, let us see what happens to the harassed public servant of the Condomi nium, who receives half his salary in francs and half in pounds sterling, with exchange at the rate of 124. Suppose his interests are in Australia, and he is re ceiving £300 per annum, nominally. He gets £150 in sterling, and £150 converted into francs at the rate of 124 to the £— l namely, 18,600 francs. He now converts his £l5O into Australian currency, and it becames £187/10/- Australian; and his 18,600 francs, converted into Australian at the rate ruling here today (62) gives him £300 Australian. In other words, his £300 per annum Condominium is equal to £487/10/- Australian.

If our friend is an Englishman, and cal culates on the basis of London, he gets £150 sterling, and 18,600 francs, which, converted at the rate ruling today between London and Paris, is equal to exactly £238 sterling. That is, his £300 per annum Condominium becomes £388 per annum In sterling.

I am not quite sure how this Gilbertian system works out in the case of the French

officials; but if, as seems apparent, they receive half their salaries in pounds sterl ling, purchased at the rate of 124 francs to the £, they certainly do take it in the neck on pay-days. So far as I could as certain, they must suffer under this ar bitrary fixation of exchange. There are numerous institutions which will give a British £ for every 78 francs; but there is no bank or storekeeper in the New Hebrides which will give the Frenchman 124 francs for each British £ he has re ceived by way of salary. I do know that, in the British quarter, the movement of ex change is watched by the public servants with a tender, passionate interest.

THE symbol of the farce —124 —domi- A nates the Post Office, also. By the time I reached this interesting establish ment, my head was in a ferment of figures, and I could not follow proceedings. I was of opinion that, with my Australian money, I should pay four pennies for each franc; yet I found myself purchasing 50-centimes stamps for one penny, and 5-francs stamps for tenpence. We had an ardent stamp-collector aboard our steamer; and when I left the Post-Office he was ges ticulating wildly in front of the counter,

buying sheets of stamps, and declaring he had found a way of providing without effort for his old age.

I sent a radiogram—nine words in plain English. Payment for this service was a process that ate considerably into an hour of time. The official explained, courteously and with apologies, that the cost of a radiogram in the New Hebrides has to be worked out in three dimensions —Condominium, French and British —and I had unwittingly added a fourth dimension (Australian currency) into which the whole complicated thing had to be con verted. He made columns and columns of figures, got the square root of the grand total, and took away the number I first thought of. It came out at about eighteen pence per word.

When, wiping a fevered brow, I stag gered out into the open air, I saw the Union Jack of Old England and the Tri colour of the great republic waving amic ably, side by side, over the coconut palms, and I took off my hat to them. They have achieved something very notable—even if it is only a very notable farce.

I went to the British Administration, and asked for a copy of the Customs Tariff of the New Hebrides —I said that I should like to publish it, for the assis tance of Australian exporters. The man I addressed looked at me compassionately for a moment; then he decided that pos sibly my condition was an act of God, and not my fault, and he reached wearily for a portfolio, full of strange documents, cuttings and hieroglyphics. He began to explain that the accursed 124 dominates all Customs calculations, but with modi fications introduced from time to time to meet new complications as they arose. I tried hard to follow —but finally I left him abruptly, and fled into the sunny after noon. in another three minutes, I should have been a raving lunatic. If any Aus tralian exporter wants that tariff, he can go to Vila and get it. If he is crazy about cross-word puzzles and the mysteries of algebraical formulae, he will enjoy himself in Vila.

I called at the British Administration and met courteous, efficient officials who were quite ready to supply me with statis tics, etc., but who developed the charac teristics of the oyster when I tried to lead the conversation into political channels.

Did they think that British interests were holding their own in New Hebrides? The British officials shrugged their shoulders.

Did they not find their work in the New Hebrides disheartening and discouraging 7 Another shrug—but one cheery soul ven tured the opinion that a man was lucky to have a job in these hard times. So I left.

IN the main street, I met sundry British suffering under a sense of violent grievance. They told me—what I already had deduced from the statistics —that the British planters of the New Hebrides are almost a vanished quantity. The decay of the British colony commenced several years ago, when the labour question be came acute. Native (New Hebrides) labour is practically unprocurable. The French brought in Tonkinese labourers, under a system of strict indenture, and worked their plantations efficiently and profitably.

Naturally, the British wanted to do the same, and sought the co-operation of the Colonial Office. The latter moved cau tiously, and a commission made an inquiry.

It is known that the commission recom mended that the British be permitted to indent labour; but no offical explanation has ever been given of the fact that the recommendation was not given effect to.

From that day to this, the position has not altered: the unfortunate British are

not allowed to employ foreign labour, al though the Frenchman on the next plan tation can have as many Tonkinese labourers as he can pay for.

There is more than a suspicion that this ridiculous situation arose because some snuffling politician in Australia de cided that the use of Asiatic labour by British in the New Hebrides would cast a reflection upon the White Australia policy. It may seem incredible —but it lines up with a score of other things for which Australia’s degenerate democracy is responsible. At any rate, it has had this result; that the New Hebrides, eco nomically, have been lost to the British Empire.

French interests are now almost com pletely paramount in the archipelago. The discouraged British planters either sold out to the French or sought French nation ality, and there are few British plan tations left. Except for the Burns, Philp store, shipping and plantations, and the stations of the Presbyterian Mission, the New Hebrides are French.

And there is no need for the British to be sore against the French. The French have played the game by their nationals, and the British emphatically have not.

The Frenchmen were supplied with labourers; the British were left helpless.

The French planters who suffered in a series of hurricanes were substantially compensated; the British planters did not get a penny piece. When the world de pression knocked endways the prices of primary products, and the planters were faced with bankruptcy, the French Gov ernment poured millions of francs into the group and kept the planters going with very cheap loans; the British got no financial help at all.

The New Hebrides are virtually French; and they ought to be. The French are businesslike—and merciless. Two or three British men, who have been years in the group, planting and managing trading stations and plantations, have just left.

The properties have passed into the pos session of the French, and there is no place thex-e now for Britishers. They spoke very bitterly; they do not blame the French, but they feel that they have been aban doned by Britain.

I WENT from this atmosphere of gloom and savagery, into a circle where —as soon as I mentioned the object of my visit —much hilarity reigned. I was seeking the latest information about the Joint Court.

I got it —in full measure, and flowing over.

There is so much of it, and it is so as tonishing in character, that I cannot deal adequately with the subject here.

Stated briefly, the Joint Court is the tribunal which deals with all matters which require adjustment as between the two nations (Britain and France) in the New Hebrides. It is international in char acter, completely independent, and su preme. There is no appeal from its judg ments. There are assessors (or assistant

judges) appointed respectively by France and Britain: there is a Chief Judge, who is nominated by an independent nation (the Count de Buena Esperanza, who was appointed on the nomination of the King of Spain, retired in 1933, and a judge nominated by the King of Belgium has taken his place); and officials of the Court are Dutch and Belgian, The Court gives judgments from which there really is no appeal; but it has no means of enforcing its judgment—the police forces are controlled respectively b y the French and British. The Court is sup posed to examine all claims for land in the group, and issue titles. It certainly has speeded up its operations during the last year, under the new judge; but even at the present rate of progress it will take a couple of centuries to deal with all the land claims in the New Hebrides. Presumably, it is the only way of avoiding constant squabbling and friction between British and French in the Group: but it is ac knowledged by everyone to be a most un wieldy, expensive and slow-moving in stitution.

It is, as a matter of fact, simply a glorious tropical picnic for a number of European jurists, who seem to spend about one year abroad for every twenty months or so that they remain in the group. It is so re garded by the people of New Hebrides.

They may hold individual officers of the Court in respect—that seems to depend upon the officers—but in referring to the Court itself, they employ every known

kind of disrespectful and contemptuous term, in about four different languages.

I LEFT the New Hebrides with my mind greatly puzzled. The conditions in that archipelago did not fit in at all with the record of British Colonial Administration throughout the world.

I found that the French had taken possession of the New Hebrides, in an economic sense, not because of British de fault, expressed in carelessness and in efficiency, but because Britain appeared to be completely indifferent to what happened in the New Hebrides. I went to Port Vila with a prior knowledge of conditions there, but with a theory that British officialdom somehow had let us down, and should

receive a journalistic thrashing; and I wanted material for a few savage articles.

Also, I was prepared to urge that, as the French already have the group in their grip, we British would be well advised to end this Condominium farce, and get out gracefully, making the best bargain pos sible in the circumstances.

I came away with the feeling that while all the factors were much as I sup posed, the position did not quite fit to gether in a way to support the logical arguments I had prepared. The British were simply squatting complacently, and letting the French get all the economic and industrial glory; and that was not like the British. I felt that there was a New Hebrides puzzle, and that an essential piece of it was missing.

Two days later, in New Caledonia, I was in conversation with a wise old man; and I think he gave me the key of the puzzle.

“The Condominium certainly is a farce,” he said. “But do not imagine for one moment that Britain will accept that as a reason for getting out. Britain will not go out of the New Hebrides, now or at any other time.

“The considerations that matter are strategic, not economic. Britain does not care twopence about the trade of the New Hebrides —it is not worth competing for.

If France wants it, and is prepared to spend millions of francs in susidising her settlers there, she is welcome to it. Britain certainly is not going to pour huge sums of money into New Hebrides, while ignoring the claims of equally deserving planters in

the Solomons, and Fiji, and Tonga and the Gilbert and Ellice Islands.

“Look at the map. From New Guinea right down south to Suva, the only really good harbours are in the New Hebrides.

Port Havannah or Port Patteson could give shelter to the whole British Pacific fleet, if necessary; and there are no other ports to which British warships could go, in an emergency, within hun dreds of miles. That is why Britain is quite happy to pay, each year, a sub stantial sum which represents her share of cost of running the ‘Pandemonium Gov ernment’. It gives her the right to shelter her warships in what might be, sometime, a strategically-important part of the Pacific.”

PROBABLY, that is the missing piece of the puzzle.

Originally, Britain was prepared to do her share in the economic development of the New Hebrides. Then there came this trouble over indentured labour. Bri tain, as usual, was not anxious to sear the sensitive soul of Australia by bringing Asiatic labourers to a Pacific group within 1200 miles of the Australian group. Much time was wasted. Meanwhile, France was showing great vigour and activity in de veloping her interests in the group, and eventually she began to pour in millions of francs, wherewith to subsidise settle ment. Britain, with scores of other colonies awaiting development, declined to enter into this kind of competition, and decided to leave the group to France, while retaining sufficient interest there to protect certain strategical considerations.

In the process, a number of British- Australian planters have been sacrificed.

They must blame, for their plight, not the British Colonial Office, but the politician ridden government of the Commonwealth of Australia.